Sunday, August 14, 2011

"True Blood:" What We've Been Waiting For!

Well, ladies and gentlemen, this is the episode of "True Blood" we've all been waiting for - the episode where Alexander Skarsgaard spends the bulk of the episode naked! But we'll get to that in a bit, because a lot of things happen in this episode as shit between Hoyt and Jessica, Jason and Jessica, Lafayette and the mysterious ghosty woman, and vampires and witches gets real!

First of all, let it be known that Jessica is not, in fact, dead, despite walking out into the sun at the end of the last episode. No, she was tackled by Jason, who kicks closed the door, and the spell is broken! Jason and Jessica kiss before Jason scoops Jessica up and takes her back down into the dungeon with Bill. Jessica feels guilty about killing the guard, Bucky, but Bill assures her that she wasn't herself. He binds Jessica with silver in case the witches recast their spell. Soon, we see Jessica coming home and breaking up with Hoyt because she has a "hunger," and their life together isn't enough for her. "If you don't love me, I'll die!" Hoyt cries. "Then die!" Jessica yells as she slams Hoyt's head against the counter and runs out the door to Jason's waiting truck. Jason is turned on and starts to take off his shirt, and just as things start to get hot and heavy ... and Jessica wakes up. Yes, it's another dream.

As night falls, the police are investigating the death of Maxine Foytenberry's vampire neighbor, Bulah Carter. Jason stops V addict Andy Bellefleur from eating her remains (ew!), and soon the press shows up. Luckily, King Bill shows up too, for some damage control, telling the reporter that vampires often commit suicide because they are depressed because of the hate crimes against them. He even begins to quote Jesus (as in, Christ, not Lafayette's loverboy) as Tara and Marntonia flip off the interview on TV. Tara is initially spooked by the fact that they aren't just protecting themselves from vampires, but actually killing them. Marntonia, however, tells her it's the only way to see them gone, and Tara agrees she wants all vampires to die. But their discussion is interrupted by a call from Bill, who assures Marntonia and Tara he wants peace, and offers to meet Marntonia in the Bon Temps cemetery to discuss it.

Meanwhile, Eric needs blood because he's been bound in silver all day and the last time he fed was when he snacked on Claudine. Sookie offers herself to Eric, as long as he promises to stop before he really hurts her. "I won't betray you. Ever," Eric says. "I may remind you of that someday," Sookie responds before Eric sinks his fangs into her neck. After he feeds, he tears open his own hand and offers it to Sookie. "We will be one," he says, and she drinks. Blood bond? I think so, bitches!

Next thing we see, Sookie and Eric are naked, and they climb into the shower. This is the hot sex scene the fans have all been waiting for ... but when Sookie goes to turn on the water, the water doesn't come out. Instead, it starts snowing. Sookie pulls back the curtain and they're in a woods and there's a rustic-looking bed in the clearing. So, of course, it's time for some major sexytimes, featuring several lingering shots of Alexander Skarsgaard's bare ass. Director Daniel Minahan definitely knows what the fans want to see, even though the shower scene wasn't at all like it was in the book!

We cut away to a quick scene with Alcide - he helps packmaster Marcus break up a fight - and then we're back to Sookie and Eric, lying in bed in the snow, fur blankets just barely covering what needs to be covered on television. They talk a little bit more about their love, and how "all is possible." It is really not a bad view. At all.

Meanwhile at Merlotte's, Mikey is in his playpen in the kitchen as Terry cooks. The mysterious woman is back, singing to Mikey in French. Lafayette walks into the kitchen, sees the woman and says, "Oh hell. Fuck this shit," and walks back out. Maxine, then, is in Merlotte's ... except she's acting awfully strange, because it's actually Tommy! You didn't think we'd get rid of him that easily, did you? He's meeting with the guy who wanted to pay to pump oil from Maxine's land, and although the deal isn't great, Tommy gets a check from him anyway. He then goes and barfs and passes out in the woods.

Jessica goes home - for real this time - and tells Hoyt, "I really love you, but I think we made a mistake." She asks for some time apart, and Hoyt asks if there's somebody else. When Jessica tells him there kind of is, Hoyt hits Jessica where it hurts, telling her that he deserves better - somebody who doesn't stay a virgin, can have kids, can walk in daylight and isn't dead. Snap! He rescinds his invitation and, as a parting shot, tells Jessica, "Maybe God really does hate fangs. And so do I." Jessica heads over to Jason's, but he spurns her too - Hoyt is his best friend, after all. He rescinds her invitation to his house, too, then does some more push-ups, as he does when he's trying not to think about his best friend's vampire girlfriend.

Sookie and Eric are back in the real world, in Sookie's bed, and she tells Eric that she wishes he could "stay this way forever." Eric tells her they could run away together, but Sookie says that they're obligated to fight for Bill.

Marcus tells Alcide he has the makings of an alpha wolf, and Marcus, Alcide and Debbie decide it's great that they're going to keep out of vampire politics. But Marcus also tells Alcide that there are going to be major problems between the vampires and witches that night, and Debbie tells Alcide to stay away from Sookie. Alcide promises he will. Marcus then goes over to Luna's house to say goodnight to Emma, who is their child, and he is extremely unhappy to see Sam over there - he's been playing Barbie's with Emma, and eats dinner with Luna and Emma. Sam stands his ground, though.

Lafayette, meanwhile, dreams of the mysterious woman - apparently years ago she had a child with a married white man, and finds out when she brings a doll to the child that the man has killed the child. He wakes up, and she's in his house. "Oh fuck no!" he says as she swoops in and possesses him. He creeps over to Andy Bellefleur's house, steals his gun and then steals Mikey from Terry and Arlene's bedroom at the Bellefleur house. TO BE CONTINUED!

Eric and Sookie get dressed (damn!) and go over to Bill's house to tell him they will fight with him against the witches. Sookie says she can use her fairy powers, and is willing to die for them. "My liege," Eric says. "My ... Bill," Sookie adds, hilariously. The look Eric gives her is quite amusing. They, other vampires and human snipers accompany Bill to the graveyard, and the witches, including Tara, accompany Marntonia. She casts a spell to make the graveyard foggy and the battle begins. Eric kills a witch. Marntonia casts some spells. Alcide, meanwhile, runs to Sookie's house and hears the shouts. He runs to the graveyard, unaware that there is a wolf - Debbie! - following him, and she is pissed. Pam almost eats Tara, before Bill forbids her. "This is So. Fucking. Lame!" Pam says - one of her only lines is a good one! Sookie blasts a guy with fairy fire, and then she is promptly shot in the stomach. Eric, meanwhile, is having spells cast on him by Marntonia. Bill is bound with silver. Alcide scoops up Sookie, who is not looking too good.

Shit got real, yo. I'm relatively positive that Sookie will survive, but what will happen to Eric? What is Marntonia doing to him? Will his memory come back? And is Debbie going to try to take out her anger on Sookie, or Alcide, or both? There are only four episodes left, and a LOT of loose ends to tie up.

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