Friday, August 5, 2011

Project Runway: Birdseed, Bedding, and Wee-wee Pads

I have been hardcore avoiding any spoilers/descriptions/opinions about this episode of Project Runway since I am watching it a day late. Never again! Plus, it also means that Jen hijacked my recap! So I am doing a competing recap. Some friendly competition is good for everyone!

Onward! And again, since there are 15 people and I have no idea who anyone is yet, I am going to be mentioning only the highlights and then critiquing the runway. Prepare for the bitchiness!

"Unleash. Leash. Fetish. S&M."--Joshua. Oh Joshua, you are out-quipping Sir Quips-a-lot aka Michael Kors. And I dig what you are wearing. Sorta punk.

Unconventional Challenge! They have to shop at a pet store. And are warned not to use a lot of "fabric". I was just going to make a smart-ass comment about if the animals can be used, but then someone actually asked Tim that.

Oh, editors, you are so fabulous! Tim tells one designer that they probably don't want to use a dog bed. Cut to Bert asking for help getting a dog bed down.

They only have one day to finish (plus a few hours on runway day). Cue the panic!

Julie is using the paper from the packaging. Which seems like a total cop-out.

Multiple people are using animal food as "beads". Which will either be hot or a hot mess.

I like Laura's (aka Designer Barbie) idea of using the cone of silence as a skirt.

Olivier...you are from Ohio...what is with the accent?

"This isn't fashion, this is trashion"--Dark-haired guy whose name they didn't post (apparently his name is Viktor)! Come on! If you are on Project Runway, you know they are going to make you use bizarre materials in one challenge. Don't whine about it! Luckily Joshua (who grew up in the theatre) is embracing it. He seems like he could go from camp to over the top ugly fast.

When in doubt, cut to a quip by Joshua! Or a clip of someone using the term "wee-wee pad". That could be a fun drinking game. Take a shot anytime someone says "wee-wee pad". It gets funnier every time someone says it. And Bryce is making himself laugh by saying it, too. Good times. Immaturity for the win. "It's like a depends dress. You don't ever have to get up from your bar stool"--Tim.

I would like Joshua to narrate my life! What he says and the way he says it is so over the top and camp. He would make everything more exciting.

I like the unconventional challenges because everything is either really awesome or really ugly. Nothing is safe! That is ideal for a good runway.

Oooo Laura's skirt is vulgar on her model. It doesn't cover anything. And she is redoing it all. Good plan on that. Joshua is also rethinking his design. I like when people don't get so attached to their "vision" that they put out crap.

"Oh my Lord of the Rings"--Viktor. That is absolutely my favorite thing ever! It combines camp and nerdiness. What up!

"I don't want to look like a dog on the catwalk"--Cecilia. Nice!


And now for the runway! With the normal judges and guest judge designer Stacey Bendet.
(To see the looks, check out the Project Runway website)

Danielle: I like the colors, but it is just fine. Don't love or hate.

Fallene: I dig the bright color of the skirt and the texture.

Anthony: Love. It. That looks so cool. The neck is fierce.

Bert: That is hein. I hate that. The shape is terrible. "It is a little Shirley McClain playing the part of a hooker"--Viktor. It just makes the model look way out of proportion.

Julie: It looks like bags. It doesn't seem very transformed.

Anya: Love the top, but the bottom looks like it is conventional material?

Bryce: I actually like it, even though it is weird. I dig the color.

Kimberly: That is pretty funky and cool. Bit tight.

Josh: I like the lime green belt and the color. But again, boring and super short skirt.

Viktor: Love! That is fierce. It looks high quality. Perhaps not super inventive.

Cecilia: I definitely like the skirt, but can't decide if I like the look overall. The belt looks very shiny compared to how organic the rest of the outfit looks.

Olivare: He managed to make a super weird texture super boring.

Becky: I like! Such fun colors and texture. The model looks slightly awkward walking in it.

Laura: I actually really like that. Nice shape.

Joshua: Holy Neon, Batman! I so love it. Except for the skirt being slightly see-through. Oh honey, no!

Danielle, Julie, Laura, Viktor, Becky, Cecilia, Kimberley, Anya, Bert are all safe. But Bert gets a smackdown on his design. Word, Heidi!

Top:
Anthony--Good shape on the model. And it looks expensive. It doesn't necessarily look like seeds on first glance. Just a touch short.

Olivare--(I thought he was bottom. Ooops!) They like pretty much everything about this long. It looks tailored and an interesting use of materials. I still think it is boring.

Joshua--A good length for a skirt at last! They aren't digging the styling...She looks like "Sea-Vixen Barbie"--Michael Kors. But he gets mad props for color!

Bottom:
Bryce--The judges hate a tissue dress. The fit in the top isn't good. They hate the styling. Poor Bryce!

Josh--Even in his description, he doesn't seem to believe in his dress. Wah-wah. And everything about his look is conventional. And the fit is off. Kiss of death from Nina...it is just ok.

Fallene--The judges think it is too simple a shape and bad colors. And she isn't owning her design. I don't actually think this look is that terrible. Other people were worse.
I never know what the judges are going to like. If it were me, I'd send home Josh and I'd give the win to Joshua (possibly Anthony).

I like the bitchy judging! Heidi is loving on Anthony and Nina/Michael are liking Olivare more. I'm guessing than that Joshua isn't going to win...

And the winner is Olivare! I think we can safely assume that whatever I think is going to happen will not happen. I am always wrong.

And the person going home is Josh! Oh, so I am half right on my predictions! Werq! I liked the concept of Josh, but he never really brought it in the challenges.

I am fine with the results here. I would rather see crazy ugly (see: Santino) than boring (see: Gretchen). And next week will be a group challenge! Which means tons of drama and bitchiness. Can't wait!

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