Monday, October 31, 2011

Seriously, F@&! Those People: Kim Kardashian

Everywhere we look today, we are hearing about Kim Kardashain getting a divorce from Kris Humphries. Now, this would be upsetting news had they been married for more than 72 days. And if their wedding hadn't cost $20 million. And if it hadn't all been televised. So, Kim Kardashian, for your fame-whoring ways you get a Fuck You from the Pop Tarts.

Kel has to admit (or celebrate) that she had to look up all about this because she routinely ignores anything that has the word "Kardashian" associated with it. Jen informed Kel that this is a good strategy as they are all "fame-whoring losers," though she admits to kind of loving Rob on "Dancing With the Stars." But apparently the Kardashians have become famous for being famous, much like Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, including Kim having a sex tape. (You know it's bad when the second sentence on your Wikipedia page is, "She is known for a sex tape with her former boyfriend Ray J as well as her E! reality series that she shares with her family, Keeping Up with the Kardashians.")

There are two main reasons that Kim Kardashian and her 72-day marriage need to fuck the hell off. For one, according to Entertainment Weekly, some of the things they registered for are "a $195 set of ice tongs, a $470 picture frame, and a $7,500 Baccarat Cosmos extra large vase." Anyone who asks for that crap needs to fuck off.

And most importantly, gays can still not marry in most states in this country, with the main argument against being that it destroys the sanctity of marriage. Now in our eyes, same-sex marriages are just fine because who really cares who anyone else marries/sleeps with? (Anyone who cares can just go fuck off, too, for all we care.) But celebrities who get married for five minutes and then divorce make the entire idea of marriage seem like a fad. Kim can fuck off for taking something that is considered a privilege in this country (even though it should be a right) and treating it like garbage.

So, to Kim Kardashian, and every other celebrity who treats a marriage like a outfit that should change with the seasons, fuck off!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dear Diary: The Vampire Diaries

Kel here. My friend Sarah and I started watching The Vampire Diaries last night. I had watched the pilot back when it aired three years or so ago, but I pretty much remembered nothing about it. All I know about it is stuff that I have picked up from Entertainment Weekly and other entertainment websites.

Now, if you know me, you know that I love a good ridiculous CW show (actually, WB was better, but whatever. Just because I am pissed that that CW canceled Everwood and kept other crap....anyway, moving on). But there is something about Vampire Diaries that is making it the most ridiculous and awesome show to watch. Perhaps it is the random crow that follows one of the vampires around. Or maybe it is the every popular stalker boyfriend plot line. Or perhaps it is even the hot guy who loves to randomly be shirtless.

But no. What makes The Vampire Diaries the best show ever is that both main characters, a girl and a guy, write in diaries. Oh sure, they call them journals when they refer to them outloud, but they start their diary entries with Dear Diary. That totally works in a book, but on a tv show, it sounds ridiculous. So ridiculous that Sarah and I started to commentate the show using "Dear diary...". And saying things like "Dear diary, my boyfriend is a vampire and he doesn't sparkle at all. Not even a glimmer. Lame!" or "Dear diary, I think a crow is stalking me- is that even possible? And side note: I might need to consult my psychic friend about my boyfriend's magical healing powers". And let me tell you, that shit is funny. We commentated like that for an entire episode. And when we watch more, we are going to keep doing it. I want to start every sentence with "Dear diary".

If you aren't watching The Vampire Diaries, you should be. It is on Netflix. Go watch. And make sure to commentate with things such as "Dear diary, my boyfriend is a creeper, but his brother is much more of a creeper" or "Dear diary, all I want is for the other guys on the football team to like me!" Super fun! Trust me!

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Seriously, F@&! Those People: Carrots Edition

Aren't carrots just the worst?


For the past year and a half, we have both been working on eating better, which includes eating lots of vegetables. Carrot sticks are one of the easiest vegetables to eat or take to work as a healthy, low-calorie snack. And also one of the tastiest. Especially the little sweet ones. Yum.

But there is definitely a problem with carrots - most of the time, they just make us more hungry!

Now, don't get us wrong, carrot sticks can be a great snack. They're a little sweet, which means sometimes you can trick yourself into not eating an entire bag of chocolate. Also, they make a lovely, satisfying crunch. That can be fun, especially when you're eating them at work. Who's going to complain that you're eating carrots at work? Nobody, because they're healthy!

But there's still that problem that after we eat them, a lot of time we're even more hungry than before! We both keep hoping that the next time we eat carrots, it won't happen, but it just doesn't end.

So, carrot sticks, even though you're crunchy and delicious, for leaving us hungry: Fuck you!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Midweek Mancandy: Hot Young Gay Men Edition

So, when Kel and I were doing our research for our blog entry yesterday, about coming out in Hollywood, we naturally started talking about hot gay guys. (Naturally.)

So, in honor of Zachary Quinto and all the other people who are out in Hollywood, our Mancandy offering this week is going to feature several hot gay guys.

First up, let's go ahead and talk about the hotness that is the newest member of the Out And Hot In Hollywood Club: Zachary Quinto.

(Photo from Wikipedia)
Because, damn. That is a fine looking man.

Zachary Quinto first came to our attention when he played the evil Sylar on "Heroes." Then, he landed the coveted role of Spock in J.J. Abram's reboot of "Star Trek." He was extremely hot in both roles, and warmed our nerdy hearts. (Jen, especially, is a big fan of the original "Star Trek," so she was epically excited when it turned out that he was perfect for the role!) Oh, and now he's on the absolutely ridiculous "American Horror Story," which Jen has been watching to get her campy sex-and-violence fix until "True Blood" starts again. Quinto is gorgeous, but the extra zip of hotness comes from the fact that we actually can't look at him without seeing a bit of Sylar, which gives him this slightly dark, evil edge. *drool*

Next up, another sci-fi staple:

(Photo from

It's Sean Maher, better known to nerds as Simon Tam from "Firefly" and "Serenity." (He also played Brian Piccolo in a remake of "Brian's Song." Then he was on "The Playboy Club" until it was canceled.) Maher is great in "Firefly" and "Serenity," and he looks great doing it. He is a very classically cute guy and plays the nerdy, slightly meek doctor very well. However, he also does a great job showing Simon's growth on the show as he becomes more tough in the wildness of space. He's just absolutely adorable!

Continuing on the sci-fi streak: 

(Photo from Wikipedia)

It's Captain Jack Harkness himself, John Barrowman! Barrowman is best known for being on "Doctor Who" and its spin-off, "Torchwood," as Captain Jack, a 51st-century time traveler. And, oh my gosh, does he look great doing it! His character is tough and very layered, but he also plays him with a cheeky charm. Captain Jack is also kind of a slut, so it's totally believable that if you met him, he'd sleep with you and likely rock your world. Can't hate that! We also just really like Barrowman in real life - he is very connected with fans and very vocal about gay rights, and we love that about him! And he's just so damn hot!

Also on a U.K. show ...

(Photo from Wikipedia)

Russell Tovey, from the U.K. version of "Being Human!" Nerds like me might also know him as Alonso Frame on "Voyage of the Damned" and "The End of Time" episodes of "Doctor Who." He is definitely not a conventional hottie, but he is really cute. He looks like a normal, cute guy, and that's always a nice thing to see on TV. Jen has only seen him in "Doctor Who," but Kel, who has watched "Being Human," assures Jen that he also looks good naked. 

Switching gears toward the musical world ...

(Photo from the Jonathan Groff Network)

It's Jonathan Groff, who plays Jesse St. James on "Glee!" He was absolutely great on the show, especially considering that he was playing a pretty obnoxious "bad guy." He also is a pretty big Broadway actor, starring in a lot of different shows to great acclaim. He's pretty good-looking when you see him, but when he starts to sing and dance, that's when the magic really happens. He is incredibly talented! We've really only seen him do his singing and dancing thang on "Glee" and in YouTube clips, but we like what we see!

Also on "Glee" ...

Chris Colfer is just sort of adorable. Even though Kurt on "Glee" can get a bit obnoxious, Colfer is always pretty dang cute! Come on - he looks like a cherub! And he, like Groff, is absolutely absurdly talented! If you're not a "Glee" fan, be sure to get on YouTube and watch him perform sometime. He's also really funny when he's not acting. Watching him on a talk show is always wonderful because he's witty and personable. And, hello? He can spin a pair of sai! How cool is that? We kind of just want to be friends with him.

And finally ...

(Photo from

Ever since Kel and I first laid eyes on the hot, androgynous, guyliner-sporting, super-talented glam rocker Adam Lambert on "American Idol," we were absolutely smitten. There's something incredibly hot about the way that he plays with gender and fashion. Also, the way he likes to wear tight pants. He's sort of weird and crazy and wonderful, and that's what makes him so sexy! Plus, that voice! We know some people didn't like the wailing falsetto and crazy range and odd arrangements on "Idol," but he is a true rock star. Lambert is mega-talented and sexy, and we absolutely love him!!
Did you like this Mancandy? Stay tuned to our blog this week for more! We plan to feature more LGBTQ hotties later this week!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Gay Celebrities: Why It Shouldn't Really Matter

Another celebrity has officially come out. To which we tend to say, "Uh, who cares?"

OK, that comes across as really harsh, and it's not what we really mean. Here at Pop Tarts Headquarters, we think it is great that more famous people feel comfortable enough with themselves that they can be openly who they are. It can be so powerful for other gay people to see that they're not alone, and just like celebrities like Kelly Osbourne can help destroy peoples' self-esteems with bodysnarking, gay celebrities coming out can help boost gay peoples' self-esteems and confidence. So...good on you, Zachary Quinto, for publicly declaring your sexuality. Honestly. But really, who cares?

Because we have to ask ... What does it matter if an actor is gay or straight? The whole point of acting is to be someone you are not, so the real personal life of the actor shouldn't come into play at all unless it really affects their ability to do their jobs. *coughCharlieSheencough* Does knowing that Zachary Quinto is gay make Spock's romance with Uhuru any less believable? Does knowing that Neil Patrick Harris has a long-term same-sex partner and two kids make Barney Stintson any less funny? Does knowing that Jane Lynch is a lesbian make Sue Sylvester any less or more of a brilliant character? No, to all three! Know why? Because the personal lives of actors (at least, good ones) don't effect their roles on screen.

Nobody should have to expose their private life if they choose not to. However, it is also important for celebrities to not hide who they are. For example, let's talk about Jodie Foster. In 2007, she publicly thanked her Cydney Bernard, who was long thought to be her girlfriend. But she never talked about it. Frankly, it would have been better if she felt like she could bring Bernard to events, but maybe she wouldn't have even if she were straight and had a boyfriend. Regardless, Foster isn't really closeted, but she's private about her personal life.

Or we could talk about Daniel Radcliffe. He is a pretty private person and no one ever really knows much about his relationship status. There had been quite a bit of speculation about if he had a girlfriend, but it was no secret that he is straight.

The alternative, of course, is something like what Sean Maher told Entertainment Weekly he experienced as a closeted gay man in Hollywood for years. He had to hide his longtime partner - they've been together for 9 years and have children together - and keep his friends from college who knew he was gay separated from his Hollywood friends. And that's just a shame.

In the end, it doesn't matter if actors and celebrities are gay and straight, and with more high-profile people coming out of the closet, we hope that eventually everybody can just be themselves.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Seriously, F@*! These People: Kelly Osbourne Edition

Seriously, fuck Kelly Osbourne.

On E!'s "Fashion Police," Osbourne got pretty bitchy about Christina Aguilera's weight and, let's face it, any time someone publicly blasts somebody for their weight, fuck them!

After seeing some pictures of Aguilera singing at a Michael Jackson tribute concert, Osbourne said, ""She called me fat for years. I was never that fat."

(Read more here. Photos of Aguilera at the concert in question appear here.)

Listen, I get that Fashion Police is a catty show, and I get that Osbourne was blasted for years for being chubby by lots of people, including, apparently, Aguilera. But just because she's slimmed down doesn't give her license to call anybody fat in a demeaning fashion like that.

And it's not even because I'm worried about Christina Aguilera's feelings. She can cry into her piles of money and call Kelly Osbourne a bitch and whatever else will make her feel better, as long as they don't keep calling each other fat on TV. It's the impressionable girls and women who see this exchange who are really going to suffer from disgusting displays like this. Because, really - if some 8-year-old girl, or 18-year-old girl, or 38-year-old woman, is already feeling a little bad about her weight, and then hears somebody like Kelly Osbourne call somebody conventionally beautiful and "normal sized" like Christina Aguilera "fat," what are they going to think about themselves? What is that going to do to their self-image? Celebrities should think about that before they start shooting their mouths off.

A lot of people, especially women, have problems with self-esteem and self-image that manifest into eating disorders, depression, self-injury, suicide and other problems. People in the media world need to realize this and try to boost self-esteem instead of tearing people down for not having a "perfect" body or face. Snark on the clothes all you want ... but not on peoples' bodies.

So in conclusion: Fuck Kelly Osbourne. She should know better.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Midweek Mancandy: Dule Hill and James Roday

Tonight is the season premier of Psych, which means that the mancandy that I have been waiting to write since we started this series is here: James Roday and Dule Hill. Two very hot hotties!

James Roday brings the hotness in his boyish charm as Shaun Spencer. Shaun is a bit of a slacker, but is also a freaking genius (in some things). He is very funny and quippy in every situation and never really does the normal thing. There is also something very hot about the super genius mixed with the incredible idiot. And probably the hottest thing about Shaun (and by association, James)...his hair. That boy has amazing hair.

Dule Hill brings a more mature and rigid hotness as Gus. Gus tends to be slightly against all of Shaun's ideas, unless it is something really cool. He is very adorable when he gets scared of something and occasionally turns into "Creepy Gus" when he is hitting on a girl. Yet it works since he is hot. The hottest thing about Dule is his tap dancing ability. OMG can he dance! I already loved Dule (and Gus as a character), but when I saw him tap dance, I fell in love.

And really, neither guy would be as hot without the other. What really makes Shaun and Gus mancandy and likable is how they act together. They play off each other so well, constantly picking on each other and ditching each other in many situations, yet always being fiercely tied to the other. Nothing is hotter than two guys who are smart, funny, and dedicated to each other.

Now, go grab a pineapple and settle in to watch the premier of Psych tonight (at 10pm on USA).

Monday, October 10, 2011

Seriously, F#@k Those People

I was e-mailing with Jen today about things that were pissing me off today. Specifically groups of people who were pissing me off. People to which I say "Fuck those people". Today I have two such groups of people: The cast of the Simpsons and the Occupy Wall Street People.

First, The Simpsons. Now, I'm sure it sucks to have to take a paycut. I know that I would not like to have my pay cut by 45%. I mean, that is just not good. However, their original, pre-cut, pay was 400,000 per episode. Now, let that sink in for a moment. $400,000 per episode. With the cut, they are going to be down to $250,000 per episode. That is $5.5 million for a season. So you know what, fuck those people! That is a ridiculous amount of money. $250,000 per episode. What? What? That amount of money is what the negotiations were over. You are having to negotiate about if you want to go DOWN to $5.5 million? Fuck off! So seriously, fuck those people.

Along the same money lines, fuck the Occupy Wall Street people. Mostly because after doing some research today, I have no idea what the hell they are protesting. I gather it is something about money. They think some people have too much of it? And the government is not doing the right things with it? Or something? And to protest it all, they are sitting in New York City. Peaceful protests can be extremely powerful things when you have a definite purpose (see: sit-ins for integration). But when you are vaguely protesting something about money, you just look dumb. Also, Occupy Wall Street should be called "Occupy Money That Could Be Spent On The Social Things You Want to Be Funded But Is Instead Being Spent On Police Overtime" ($1.9 million has been spent already). And really, if you want to protest money, why not go protest the insane amount of the money The Simpsons Cast makes. So seriously, fuck those people.

Remastering Masterpieces

Star Wars, the original trilogy, was just rereleased on DVD once again. And once again, it was remastered/changed/ruined/whatever you want to call it. George Lucas changed things. Oh, the horror. Again.

Listen, I get the outrage. I really do. I like the original original trilogy the best. I like the Ewok song at the end. I know that Gredo didn't shoot. I think the computer generated creatures look dumber than the puppets. Trust me, I'm a geek, I get it. But also, I don't understand all the outrage. I mean, it is just a movie.

Ok, I hear you yelling at me. "It isn't just a movie, it is a piece of art!" "It is historic and shouldn't be changed. Ever!" But let me counter your outrage with something that is by many respects more outrageous. The Last Judgement, painted by Michelangelo, on the altar wall of the Sistine Chapel.

Michelangelo painted the Last Judgement after he painted the ceiling (3 decades after if you want to be specific). And he painted a lot of the people naked. And by a lot of, I mean most of them have their junk out. 24 years after he finished, the Council of Trent said that nudity in religious art was bad and Daniele da Volterra got the job of painting loinclothes and fig leaves over all the naughty bits. When restoration occured in the 1990s, there was great debate about if the fig leaves should be removed. In the end, they ended up removing some of them.

The big debate was if the art work should reflect the original intention of the artist. It was argued that althought Michelangelo did not paint the fig leaves, the addition of them became part of the history of the work. Hence, removing them would remove some of the history.

Now, to relate that to Star Wars. If Michael Bay decided that he wanted to remaster Star Wars and add bigger explosions and slutty girls into it, I would be opposed to that. But it is George Lucas who is changing the movie. It would be like if Michelangelo decided that The Last Judgement wasn't quite right and painted fig leave on himself. Would it be the best choice? Probably not. Would some people be mad that he was changing one of his masterpieces? Definitely. Would it be in his right to alter his own work? Yes. That is what copyright is all about. You can mess with your own stuff as many times as you want.

So while I definitely think the original original trilogy is the best version, I also think that now, you can't go back to it. You can keep both, but you can never destroy the remastered versions. They have become part of the history of the work. Plus, it is always nice to have a default topic to whine about.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Midweek Mancandy: Indecision

With Jen on vacation, I totally forgot about doing Midweek Mancandy. And now I have remembered. But I cannot for the life of me decide on which hot guy to highlight.

I thought about highlighting Harry Shum, Jr. since he brought the hot in this week's Glee. Not only did he showcase his awesome dancing, he also sang and had emotional scenes. And did you seen his arms. Totally mancandy worthy.

Another potential is Adam Levine, the lead singer of Maroon 5, mostly because he has multiple songs out right now and I was listening to one of them in the car. So he naturally popped into my head for his rock 'n roll hotness.

Dwayne Johnson, aka The Rock, was also in my head for mancandy potential. He is so macho and manly and I just started following him on Twitter, so he was at the forefront of my mind. And really, how can you go wrong with The Rock!

I also kind of wanted to use Michael Pitt. He is definitely not traditionally hot, but he is super interesting and kind of sexy. He is also amazingly creepy, especially if you have seen Funny Games. But he is someone that you keep wanting to look at.

My last idea was to use Evan Rachael Wood was (wo)mancandy. I have a fascination with her, especially her fashion. She always looks slightly androgynous and super fierce on all red carpets. He is one of my current straight-girl-lady-crushes.

So, after all the debating, I decided to not highlight anyone. Instead, I am going to open it up to you to suggest your own mancandy (or womancandy). Who are you finding hot this week?

Monday, October 3, 2011

Pilot Reviews: I give up!

This is my official declaration that I have failed in reviewing all the new pilots and am quitting before I go insane. I have such a backlog that I can't even watch the shows that I like and actually want to like. And that just seems like way too much stress over tv. Also, I keep not watching tv because I want to read. And I am not going to stop reading just to watch tv.

So, to recap my recaps...the only new show that I really love is 2 Broke Girls. I also enjoy New Girl, but mostly just watch that because it is on right after Glee. I enjoyed Unforgettable and hope to be able to catch up online with that soon. A Gifted Man was fine, as was Up All Night, though neither were good enough for me to want to watch more of. Free Agents and The Playboy Club were not my thing. I like Ringer, but haven't watched past the pilot. I want to watch more of The Secret Circle, but couldn't record it for a couple weeks due to other shows overlapping. I am hoping to get to watch Pan Am at some point because I've heard that it is good. And I want to check out Person of Interest.

Later in October I am planning on watching the premieres of Grimm and Once Upon a Time, so I may blog those. I missed some other pilots and just don't care to catch up on any of them. Except maybe Hart of Dixie because that looked good.

Anyway, now it is October and I am going to try to blog more about Pop Culture type stuff and not just tv shows. Because really, the tv show blogging was boring. Onto other fun blogging topics!