Thursday, September 22, 2011

Project Runway: Lamest episode of the season

Project Runway recap! On a Thursday, for once! And tonight we are designing for a newly signed rock band. In two teams of four. The Sheep Dogs! What up.

When they start to play, Olivare has a bit of a meltdown because it is so loud. Oh, delicate little flower.

Apparently, each person in the group gets to pick a band member and apparently, they don't have to make a collection, just make the band look like they are from the same planet.

Olivare is once again offended by the idea of having to design for a not model body. Get it together, precious.

There are problems already. Laura can't find red denim and Olivare is upset that his dude is bigger than the mannequin. Anya thinks that he should suck it up because real people aren't mannequins.

Viktor and Anya seem to be the most self-aware in the competition. They kind of get that it is a show and seem to have the best commentary about the work room.

The Garnier guy is working with members of both teams to get their band members with a hairstyle that works for both. The band guys look super uncomfortable in the Garnier chair.

And queue the Bert bashing. Oh my god, get over it. Yes, Bert was a bit bitchy at first, but he has mellowed out.

One of the guy's name is Leot! That is the best name ever! The Sheep Dogs are totally the kind of band I would go see. Come to Noho and play The Iron Horse!

I am not a huge fan of hippy style, really, but I am digging all the crazy color and pattern going on in the work room today. Though Bert has too much purple. Bad, Bert! No purple blouses for men.

Joshua, while hella bitchy, knows what the hell he's doing. Draw the eye to the crotch!

Haha! With his ridiculous fake accent, when Olivare says "shirt", it sounds like "shit". Which is what his fabric looks like. And now Tim is going to smack a bitch for saying that Ewan's not a size small. I liked Tim's "Bitch, please" face at Olivare.

And, can I give a big ol' Fuck Off to Olivare for continually calling Ewan plus size, because that dude is just kind of normal guy sized.

At fitting, everyone's outfits look shitty. Seriously, the designers seem to think that their band is like the Rolling Stones. Not everyone can pull off a ridiculous patterned blouse like Mick Jagger.

Oh snap, Joshua is totally stealing Viktor's fringe. Bitch, please!

Olivare is still sewing. His model may go out there naked. I'm not totally opposed to that, if I'm honest. He's a hot rocker dude. Olivare's shirt is awful! Ewan would look better naked. I am finding that I may just really find rocker dudes hot. Good thing to know about myself. Anyway...back to the fashion and not just dreaming about the guys.

And now time for runway, which is going to be the guys playing a song in each outfit. With guest judge Adam Freakin' Lambert!

Team Purple. I am not ok with any of those looks. Bass guy looks like Rock Jesus according to Anthony Ryan, his designer. Anya is not ok with her drummer design either. Guitar dude has the best look, being done by Laura. Those red jeans are bitching and I would like a pair, please. I'd actually wear that whole outfit. Ewa, the lead singer, looks the most 70s, but it is way too purple.

Dammit all, I really dig Joshua's look. It is weird, yet cool. And the bass guy looks comfy in it. Kim's drummer looks bad. Bad bad bad. Viktor's bass player looks awesome. He looks vaguely 70s with his headband and jacket, but still modern with the jeans. I hate Olivare's outfit. It doesn't fit or go with the singer.

I think the top designs are Joshua, Laura, and Viktor. I'd say the worse are everyone else! But specifically Olivare, Bert, and Anya.

Overall, the judges don't really like anything about Laura, Bert, Anya, and Anthony Ryan's group. There is no image or cohesion. And there is not a take on Jimmy Hendricks, it is just Jimmy Hendricks.

Heidi and Adam like Laura's look a lot. And so do I. I legit want those pants and jackets. Nina, however hates it. Ewan is not a big fan of Bert's look on him. I personally, can't stand this look. Ok, I am not going to try to recap the judges anymore. They are definitely not cohesive at all! Dudes...get it together.

I am over this episode. It could have been so cool, but instead, everyone sucked! Lame! I really just recommend watching the judging, if nothing else. Michael Kors is on point with quippiness tonight. And Adam Lambert giggling at him is my favorite thing ever.

Viktor's jackets are fabulous. Seriously, start designing jackets and selling them at an affordable price and I will buy them.

Dude...I may actually be right in a top three of Laura, Joshua, Viktor.

Viktor won! And he definitely deserved it! And Olivare is out. And he definitely deserved it. Overall, this episode was really lame. It should have been so awesome. They were designing looks for a band! And it was shit. Viktor was the only one who did a great job. Lame lame lame. Next week I expect the show to be back on form.

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