Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Trashelorette: Part Duex

Ok, here are my completely random, short, unedited comments about this week's Trashelorette. Next week, my comments will be in with Jen's and part of the coherent story. Or something like that. Also, special shout out to Emily for helping suggest fun nicknames for the guys!

I don't remember anyone, except for like...3 people.

Batman looks even more crazy with the mask this week. I think it has to do with the hat.

And....Ashley is crazy! Marriage on the first date = crazy pants! I like how scared William looks. And William is now going to be known as Captain America. This is creepy and weird. And no, not legally married because you have to sign the marriage license. Idiot. I like Captain America, but I don't really like Ashley as of right now.

I'm going to try to nickname the boys during this group date. We already have Douchey Asshole, aka Bentley, and Winemaker. Constantine is an awesome enough name to not need a nickname and I'm pretty sure West is a solid nickname in itself. I am thinking that the hairstylist's nickname shall now be Fabio. It is hard to nickname all the guys are they are all the fucking same!

The dentist guy shall now be known as Listerine.

Douchey Asshole makes me so angry. Like, I cannot get over how much of a dick he is. I can't even be snarky about him because of how terrible of a person he is. He is a manipulative asshole who plays women, uses his daughter as sympathy, and is abusive. It is not ok for him to do that and it is also not ok for the show to glorify that. I hope all women recognize that no one deserves to be treated that way. If I guy is doing that to you, ditch his sorry ass right away. Fucking asshole. /end PSA/

I am going to call Mickey "Chef Mickey". It doesn't seem that creative unless you know that Chef Mickey is one of the character breakfasts at Disney World. Whoa, he has no personality. And he's wearing brown leather loafers with no socks, not cool. I'm fairly sure I just passed out from boredom during that date.

I just remembered that there is someone who we already nicknamed Mama's Boy, but I don't remember who he is. I just checked my notes, Matt. I'm going to list all the guys and their nicknames so as to remind myself.

Ryan P. (aka Sunshine...according to my friend Emily, this is the solar panel guy), Jeff (aka Batman), Constantine (aka Constantine), Ben F. (aka Winemaker), Lucas, Stephen (aka Fabio), Matt (aka Mama's boy), Nick, Chris, Ryan M., Blake (Listerine), Mickey (Chef Mickey or Hey Mickey! courtesy of Emily), Ben, West (aka West), William (aka Captain America or Ding Dong courtesy of the other contestants), JP (aka Cupcake), Ames (aka Ames because that name is unique enough to be a nickname), Bentley (aka Douchey Asshole or Douchey Abuser or Loserface)

Further thoughts on Bentley...if I knew a guy like him, I would literally knee him in the nuts and slap him in the face simultaneously. There really is only one word that sufficiently describes him. And it is a word that I do not feel comfortable putting in print on a blog. I'm sure you are clever enough to come up with it. Or just come up with one of your own. Think of a word that you would use to describe the worst person you can think of. Apply it to Bentley.

And going home are...Fabio, Mama's Boy, and some blond guy who I was going to nickname Ken (as in Ken and Barbie), but never got around to naming because I could not figure out his real name. Emily suggested Cute Guy From Michigan That Was Probably Less Bland and Boring than Half of the Boys That Are Left.

And the previews for next week look crazy. And really, slightly more exploitative than most weeks. I can't wait!

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