Thursday, October 25, 2012

"RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars" - Half-Baked? You bet.

As our three or so faithful blog readers know, I've been recapping "Dancing With the Stars: All Stars" for several weeks now. But I must confess, I am epically bored with that shit. The dancers are too good this season, and without Kel to tell me how the dances are actually supposed to go, I am lost.

But there's another all-stars show that is running on Monday nights, starting this week, that does feature something I know a little more about ... drag queens! That's right, bitches ... it's time for "RuPaul's Drag Race: All Stars," and I'm going to recap it! You don't have to worry about me dropping out halfway through the season, because RPDR is the most perfect reality competition in the history of the world, and I obsessively watch it. So let's start the show!

(OK, the show was several days ago. I know this. I wrote notes on Monday night. And then, BOOM, it was Thursday night and I still hadn't blogged it. Shame.)

After each queen came astruttin' into the room, RuPaul gave us the BIG TWIST. In addition to Charisma, Uniqueness, Nerve & Talent, the girls also have to have Synergy ... because they have partners! AND, when they sashay away, BOTH people have to sashay away.

I like the partner aspect, because there are many chances for great drama there. But I don't like them both sashaying away, because that means this is going to be a hella-short season of "Drag Race." WTF, Ru? I want drag queen realness for more than a month!

The partners were:

Raven & Jujubee
Chad Michaels & Shannel
Tammie Brown & Nina Flowers
Manila Luzon & Latrice Royale
Yara Sofia & Alexis Mateo
Pandora Boxx & Mimi Imfurst

Immediately, I felt bad for Pandora Boxx. She's one of my favorite queens (even though I want Latrice Mutherfuckin' Royale to win, because she's LATRICE. MUTHERFUCKIN'. ROYALE.) Mimi Imfurst, meanwhile, is totally cannon fodder, and is there simply to cause controversy. She was the one who picked up another queen during a Lip Sync For Your Life. Why, oh why, did she have to get paired with sweet Pandora Boxx? I immediately felt some dread.

Anyway, they had to produce a high-fashion photo spread with two photos - one where they were partly put together with no wigs, then a wet & wild photo that shows how the pairs are dynamically different. Also, they had to do each other's makeup.

I'll just go ahead and spoil it right now - the partially put together photos were pretty much all stunning and cool, and the wet & wild was a hot mess. The concepts were vague and kind of dumb (naughty & nice, trashy & classy) ... although I really, really, REALLY admired Jujubee & Raven for their dressed & undressed shoot, where Raven posed naked. That takes some, well, balls.

I was kind of underwhelmed by the photo shoot challenge, overall, because it's not really the super fun challenges I've come to expect from RuPaul's Drag Race. I like the campy, funny stuff like the Snatch Game. It seemed a bit serious, especially for the first episode.

Then it was runway time, with judges Michelle Visage, Santino Rice, Ross Mathews and special guest judge Rachel Hunter, a supermodel.

The runway is always fun, because I LOVE the outfits.

First was Yara & Alexis, who wore their faces on their chests. Feh. I don't like them very well so whatever.

Latrice & Manila were Teletubbies, which was hilarious and fun. They were put together well and pretty, but they were totally fun and campy too. That's what I love!

Mimi & Pandora wore neon & fur, which was a little amateur but fun, since they're campy queens.

Raven & Jujubee wore Chicago-esque burlesque outfits, which showed off the fact that they're body queens.

Tammie Brown and Nina Flowers wore basic black, but they looked fierce. (Also, side note, I missed season 1 of RPDR because I didn't know it existed, and I am VERY sad because Tammie Brown is cray-cray to the max and I LOVES IT.)

Shannel & Chad Michaels wore crazy outfits with big headdresses. LOVE. IT. Shannel called it "Birds of a feather flock together meets Dungeons & Dragons."

Rujubee & Latrila were the best of the week, and Latrice & Manila won. (They got gowns as a prize.)

In the bottom were Mandora - they loved the half-baked photo, but not the other one, and they didn't love the lime-green fur, especially since Mimi wore some around her waist in a weird, unflattering way - and Shad (WHAT!?) because they overthought their photos even though their runway presentation was FAB-U-LOUS. (WHAT!?)

One queen from each team had to lipsync, so they made it Mimi vs. Chad. Ru explained the Shemergency button, where they can tag out during the first minute of the lipsync. It can only be used once in the competition.

Well, if you've been every paying attention to this show, you know who won. Mimi reeked of desperation, Pandora didn't press the Shemergency button, and Miss Chad Michaels kicked ass in her own fabulous way because she is a classy professional, and so Mimi & poor, sweet Pandora sashayed away.

Poo. This episode was a bit of a let down. Let's make it better next week, shall we?

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