Monday, October 8, 2012

Dancing With the Stars: But What I Really Wanna Do Is Direct!

So apparently, "Dancing With the Stars: All-Stars" is becoming a season of twists. This week, the so-called celebrities were the art directors of their dances. Also, there's a double-elimination tomorrow. Also, apparently they got the ideas for the dances from other "Dancing With the Stars" dances, but I missed that until about halfway through the show so there are no mentions of that in my actual recaps. Because, really? I don't think I can name one dance on "Dancing With the Stars" that made an impression on me past about two weeks.


But, anyway, they danced their little hearts out, and it was a pretty good night. Everyone did very well, with good art direction and a lot of fun dances. However, there was just something about the show that was a little flat for almost all the dances. The judges went crazy for pretty much everything, but I felt like many of the "Stars" were dragging a bit. Maybe I'm just cranky today.


Anyway, without further ado ... here are the dances!

98 Degrees member Drew Lachey & Anna Trebunskaya danced a chacha to "Crazy In Love." It was a fast, energetic dance, but it was so fast and sharp, and Anna was so energetic, that I felt like Drew was dragging a little bit. They just didn't seem terribly together, and even though it was a fine dance with a fine concept, I was underwhelmed by Drew. The judges, however, really seemed to like them, with Carrie Ann even going so far as to say that it was "tight" and "precise." I'm not sure what she was watching.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 8; Len - 8; Bruno - 8. Total: 24.

Actor Gilles Marini and Peta Murgatroyd danced a tango to "Sweet Dreams." The dance had a really strong feel to it, with Gilles starting out in a harness and soaring over the dance floor. OK, so a ballroom purist might not be impressed *cough*Kel*cough* ... but it was neat. And I liked the whole dreamy look of the dance floor, combined with the strong, clean, powerful dancing. It was a fast tango, without the sensual beauty that makes a tango, but it was a nice, well-done dance. The judges loved the performance, but Len thought the dance could have been cleaner, and Gilles had a few problems in hold.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 8.5; Len - 8.5; Bruno - 8.5. Total: 25.5

Reality TV star Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani danced something latin (I missed which kind of dance) to "Conga." The costumes and feel were very, very appropriate, and overall it was a cute dance, but I felt like Melissa was a little bit skippy - like she was skipping around with Tony instead of dancing like she should have been. However, the judges were falling all over themselves for Melissa this week, with Len calling it "satisfying" and Carrie Ann calling the technique "fantastic." I think the judges might have borrowed a little crack from Heidi & the gang over at "Project Runway.
Score: Carrie Ann - 9; Len - 9; Bruno - 9. Total: 27.

Olympian Apolo Anton Ohno & Karina Smirnoff danced a foxtrot to "Fever." This was one of my favorite dances of the night. Apolo looked dapper. Karina looked sexy. The dance was smooth and passionate. Yeah, it wasn't as exciting as all of Melissa's skipping during "Conga," but it oozed sex appeal. The judges really liked the classy sensuality of the dance - Carrie Ann even declared it "stunning" - but both Len and Bruno thought they needed to clean it up just a little.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 9; Len - 8; Bruno - 8.5. Total: 25.5.

Soap opera actress Kelly Monaco and Val Chmerkovskiy danced a paso doble to something very traditional. I'm really not a big fan of Kelly Monaco, but it was a very, very clean, very sexy dance. (It didn't hurt that Val had his chest out - I love it when those Chmerkovskiy brothers dance in open vests!) It wasn't a terribly creative dance, but it was very solid and powerful. The judges really loved it, too.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 9; Len - 9; Bruno - 9. Total: 27.

Actress Kirstie Alley & Maksim Chmerkovskiy danced a chahca to "Moves Like Jagger," which I did catch was inspired by Carson Kressley's chacha to the same dance in his season. This dance was just plain fun! Maks portrayed Mick Jagger, complete with open vest; tight, low-cut pants; and a terrible wig. It was just silly. But you know what? It was also sexy, because Kirstie and Maks have fantastic chemistry - the best of any couple on the show. Carrie Ann thought it was their best dance so far, and Len said it was "great" and that they had the "whole package." Must have been watching Maks! *roguish wink*
Scores: Carrie Ann - 8; Len - 8; Bruno - 8. Total: 24.

"Cheetah Girls" member Sabrina Bryan & Louis van Amstel danced a paso doble to "Free Your Mind." It was a super quick, intense, strong dance, but I have to admit that I was distracted by alternately watching Sabrina for a wardrobe malfunction and wincing in sympathetic pain as her boobs bounced everywhere. I didn't even get a chance to really watch Louis van Amstel, which is a shame, because he is fantastic. The judges liked the dance a lot, and len even praised their technique (always a good sign).
Scores: Carrie Ann: 8.5; Len: 8.5; Bruno: 8.5. Total: 25.5.

Football player Emmitt Smith & Cheryl Burke danced a paso doble to something traditional. It was a nice dance with good choreography, but I felt like Emmitt was kind of plodding through. Yes, his face and upper body did have some sex appeal, but in his feet - plod, plod, plod! He did redeem himself somewhat, though, at the end of the dance when he started charging toward Cheryl and slid under her legs. Who doesn't love a good floor slide? The judges praised Emmitt for his strength and how he dominated the floor, but Len said he would like more "finesse" when he dances.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 8.5; Len - 8; Bruno - 8.5. Total: 25.

Indy 500 Champion Helio Castroneves & Chelsie Hightower danced a quickstep to "Mr. Pinstripe Suit." This was another of my favorite dances - I think I was feeling the classic jazz feel this week. It was a super fun dance, and I thought Helio looked absolutely thrilled to be there - more than anybody else in the whole show. The judges were a bit mixed on Helio, on opinions if not on the score. Carrie Ann and Len thought it was really good, and Len said they deserved to be back next week. However, Bruno said that while they started with a blast, they lost sight of some of their steps.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 8.5; Len - 8.5; Bruno - 8.5. Total: 25.5.

Conservative activist Bristol Palin & Mark Ballas danced a paso doble on a chessboard. BUT FIRST ... there was drama on Wednesday when Bristol told Mark that she feels like he wants someone like Sabrina or Shawn to be his partner instead of her, and that he wants to get eliminated. Mark said that definitely wasn't true, and I tend to believe him - he is a professional dancer, after all, and I can't imagine he would want to not be on TV. However, I understand where Bristol is coming from. She is in a tough spot, because she is a polarizing person on "Dancing With the Stars," and she's not super skinny and conservative in a place that focuses a lot on being skinny and has a lot of liberals. I'm not saying she's right - it seemed a bit whiny - but I can see where she could feel self-conscious. However, Bristol did the right thing and channeled her emotions into her paso doble, because it was, far and away, the best dance she's ever done on either season of "Dancing With the Stars." She had a lot of intensity, but she didn't seem too tense. She knew her steps, and she had a great concept. The judges praised her highly for dancing her best dance ever and really attacking the dance, though Carrie Ann told her that she needs more dimension in her expression. Still, that's a quibble - much better than Miss Bristol usually does!
Scores: Carrie Ann - 7.5; Len - 7.5; Bruno - 7.5. Total: 22.5.

Olympian Shawn Johnson & Derek Hough danced a quickstep to "Hey Pachuco," and it was fantastically fun to watch. They bounced on trampolines, did the splits, jumped around and had more energy than a couple of overcaffeinated flying squirrels on crack. It was a lot of fun to watch, but I knew immediately what would be the problem ... it didn't really have a lot of quickstep in it. Two of the judges loved it. Bruno called it "Incredible! Spectacular! Unforgettable!" and declared it the best dance he'd seen in 15 seasons. Carrie Ann agreed that it was the best dance on "Dancing With the Stars." Crotchety old man Len did bring the love-fest down a bit, thankfully, admonishing them for breaking the rules like Bristol & Mark did last week.
Scores: Carrie Ann - 9; Len - 8; Bruno - 9.5. Total: 26.5.

So, who goes home? Who the hell knows, honestly! The scores are extremely close ... it really depends, I think, on who the people love. My least favorites, surprisingly, were Drew (draggy), Melissa (skippy), Emmitt (ploddy) and Sabrina (bouncy). My favorite was Kirstie, as usual ... but I was also incredibly impressed with Bristol. We'll just see ... it's a double elimination, which means that there will be major heartbreak.

But don't worry too much, because next week will be DELIGHTFUL. Not only will the so-called stars get to pick the dance styles for each other next week, but Paula "You Made It Your Own!" Abdul is the guest judge. IT'S ON.

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