My recap is super late, I know ... the Labor Day holiday (and the fact that my husband was home yesterday!) really threw me off my TV-watching groove. But I finally watched it last night, and it was quite a doozy!
If you'll remember, we have two main plotlines going on: the Battle of Moon Goddess Emporium, and the Battle of Hot-Blooded, Angry Werewolves and Shifters. On Sunday night's episode, we also had a third plotline come in - the Andy Bellefleur Has Sex With A Fairy, Possibly Setting Up Shenanigans For Next Season plotline.
The new third plotline is pretty self-explanatory. Andy, walking home from his intervention with Terry, comes across a woman, Maurella, who has just come out of a ball of light. They have sex, but not before Andy promises to protect her by touching her glowing finger. When he gets home, Andy tells Arlene about the encounter, who thinks it's just a hallucination brought on by V-withdrawl. I think it's a tease to next season!
Meanwhile, in Werewolf-Shifter territory ... as Alcide and Sam hold Marcus' minion hostage, trying to figure out where Marcus is, Luna comes streaking in to tell Sam that Marcus has kidnapped Emma from school. As Marcus tries to convince Debbie Pelt to run away with him and have a litter of werewolf cubs, Emma calls her mom's cellphone from Alcide's house, so Sam, Alcide and Luna rush over there. Alcide and Sam burst into the bedroom, where Sam challenges Marcus to a fight to avenge Tommy - but with no shifting. They fight, and Sam nearly kills Marcus, but he lets him go because Sam is that kind of guy. Unfortunately, Marcus is not - he grabs the gun and starts firing shots, prompting Alcide to tackle Marcus and break his neck. (I'm not sorry to see him go.) Then, Alcide straightens up, looks Debbie straight in the eye and abjures her - officially renounces her, announcing that he can no longer see her. Debbie, already completely unstable and really rockin' the crazy eyes in the last episode or two, is not going to take this lightly once she gets over her initial shock and pain. And we all know who she's going to go after, don't we? The person Alcide was not supposed to be seeing - our sweet Sookie!
Speaking of sweet Sookie ... she's trapped in Moon Goddess Emporium as the vampires - Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica - come strutting toward the shop with automatic weapons. And they're sick and tired of the witchy crap that's been going on. "I'm sick of silvering myself all day, every day, and feeling pissed off all the time. This is what PMS used to feel like!" Jessica says. "Can we kill these wiccan dipshits already?" Pam asks. "I have a mani-pedi at 4."
Not so fast, girls ... Jason runs out and warns them that Sookie is inside. Pam and Jessica don't particularly care, but Bill and Eric do, of course. This leads to a great little conversation:
Eric: "Fuckin' Sookie."
Bill: "Fuckin' Sookie."
Jason: "Fuckin' Sookie?"
Pam: "Fuckin' Sookie. As usual, she's in the way."
Plus, Jason warns them, there's a protective shield around the shop. Before they can figure out what to do, they're jumped by some of Marnie's vampire sheriff minions. Annoying.
Inside Moon Goddess, Marnie knifes one of her followers, Casey, which causes Antonia to leave and attempt to sever ties with Marnie. Lafayette, being a medium, can see Antonia, and exclaims (in a particularly amazing bit of dialogue): "Oh shit. Marnie just puked a bitch out!" Marnie performs a binding spell, to bind Antonia to her against her will, and Jesus realizes that shit just got real, yo. Jesus does some quick thinking and convinces Marnie that Casey is still alive, and gets Lafayette to help him take her into the bathroom to save her. Yeah, no. He's going to do some deep, dark, necromancy, brujo magic to get Antonia's spirit out of Marnie's body, using Casey's body.
Marnie's two vampire sheriff minions were not much of a match for four pissed off vampires, and after they dispose of them (with Pam taking the female vampire's necklace, saying, "Vintage Cartier. I'll take good care of this"), Bill tells Marnie to come out. She brings Sookie, of course, and before Pam and Jessica know what is happening, Bill and Eric have offered to kill themselves to keep Sookie safe. This does not sit well with Pam. ("The true death to save Bo-Peep? I don't fucking think so!" she tells Eric later.) Despite Eric's command not to, she shoots at Marnie (and Sookie!) with her rocket launcher. Thankfully, the barrier stops any damage, although Jason gets horribly burned. Jessica to the rescue! She feeds him her blood, and now Jason is getting it in deep. What is it with Stackhouses and vampires?
Inside the store, Marnie makes everyone join hands to try to defeat the vampires by forcing them toward the barrier. Jason's confusion is a delight, of course, but things are looking grim. But Sookie can hear, from Jason's brain, what is happening outside, and uses her fairy power to stop the spell. She tells Marnie it was accidental, but you know it wasn't - she knew she had to save Bill and Eric. Marnie doesn't believe her, and puts Sookie in a ring of fire. Eric and Bill can both feel her pain and fear, but they can't do anything about it - they're still trapped by the barrier. They pace, looking angry and, let's face it, pretty sexy.
Jesus keeps working on the spell, which includes drinking some blood and carving symbols into his arms and chanting, and he and Lafayette both look downright scared. But it works - Jesus channels some dark magic, releases Antonia and breaks Marnie's spells. Sookie is out of the fire, and the vampires are in Moon Goddess. Bill's gunning to kill all the witches, but Sookie convinces him that it was all Marnie's fault and only Marnie should die. Well, Roy, Marnie's most loyal minion, steps in front of her, but he's no match for Eric, who zips forward and pulls out his heart. As Roy hits the floor, he walks up to Marnie, picks off a piece of flesh from the heart and drinks blood from an artery like it's a straw. It was disgusting ... and I laughed out loud for a solid minute. It was the best moment of the episode, if not of the season. Eric steps aside, and as Marnie shouts, "Nobody lives forever! Not even you!" Bill pumps her full of lead.
Wrap-up time! Eric glamors the witches (other than Holly and Tara, I think, since they're regular cast members), Sookie looks simultaneously horrified by the violence and confused by the whole fact that both Bill and Eric would die for her and how she loves them both and all that stuff. As they all sort of gazed at each other, all I could think was, "Threesome!" Bad Jen! Jason, meanwhile, fretted a bit about having Jessica's blood and thinking about her all the time and how that would affect Hoyt. More fodder for next season!
Jesus and Lafayette talk a little bit about their day back home in bed. Jesus is really upset that Marnie is dead (and that he had a hand in it), but Lafayette reminds him that he saved a lot of people. Also, they're both pretty wigged out by all the dark magic they've been doing. Jesus goes to sleep, but before Lafayette can drift off, there's Marnie's spirit floating above their bed. She enters Lafayette ...
And fade to black!
Only one more episode this season! Is anyone else as anxious to find out what happens as I am!? And does anyone else hear a death knell for poor, sweet, sexy Jesus? I'm not sure he's going to make it to the end of the season.
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