'Dancing With the Stars' recap: A 'Most Memorable' Evening

Tonight it's week three of "Dancing With the Stars," and it's the week when the dancers pick a song and dance that represents the most memorable time in their life. This is always the week when I'm super cynical going in, and then I end up crying like eight times throughout the night at the touching stories the stars tell. I am such a sap.

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First, a few housekeeping notes: Robin Roberts is a guest judge this week, which is kind of awesome. She looks fabulous, and I like her! 

Another note: Billy Dee Williams isn't dancing tonight! Very sad! He has a chronic back problem, and his doctor said that he can't dance. They had hoped to do a dance dedicated to his grandchildren, and though he couldn't dance, his grandkids did come out to see him! It was all very cute, but I'm sad that he wasn't able to dance and so has to withdraw from the competition.

Let's have a moment of silence for Lando. 

And now, away we go!

'Dancing With the Stars' - March Madness

First things first - surprise! Double elimination! Evil, "Dancing With the Stars." EVIL. Also, the double elimination could happen AT ANY TIME - they're sharing results throughout the show! Also, they are going to switch up the partners at some point.

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They're really trying to change the format this season, which is not a bad thing. It kind of keeps us on our toes, even though it's a little weird. It worked tonight, but I hope they don't do anything too crazy later in the season.

Anyway ... on to the recaps!

Dancing With the Stars: Back Again!

I almost didn't want to watch "Dancing With the Stars" this season. As much as I enjoy the craziness of watching D-List celebrities ballroom dance, I just wasn't sure I had time this year.

But, in the end, I couldn’t resist the siren song of glitter, sequins and pseudo-celebs. And so, Monday night, there I was, in front of the TV, watching “Dancing With the Stars.”

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This season we have a new cohost with Tom Bergeron, and a new band and musical director. And there are going to be guest judges later in the season. Who cares, though! But what draws me to DWTS is what draws everyone: the spectacle.

'Dancing With the Stars' recap: Journey's End

It seems like "Dancing With the Stars" just started, but now, the D-List Dance Competition O' Glitter is almost over. 

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But first, the couples have to perform three dances, including the fan-favorite freestyle dance!

Let's get down to it ... we have a lot of ground to cover and celebrities to watch dance!

Dancing With the Stars Recap: This Is It! Well, Almost.

The craziness of "Dancing With the Stars" is almost over, and tonight the dancers were competing for a spot in the finals. And they had to do it in front of Maksim Chmerkovskiy as a guest judge! 

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Tonight's trick was that they had to perform a different dance to a stripped-down version of the song they performed their first dance to. Interesting concept! Let's get right down to the dancing, though.

'Dancing With the Stars' Recap: Duos and Trios

There are only a couple more episodes of "Dancing With the Stars" which, let's face it, is kind of tragic. This has been a fun season with several very good dancers and several more that are just plain fun to watch. 

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Tonight's gimmick was that, in addition to a normal partner dance, the couples also got to perform a trio dance with an additional pro/troupe dancer. Fun times! Shall we get down to the recapping?

"Dancing With the Stars" recap: Sequins, Cher and a tango-dancing pimp

As if "Dancing With the Stars" needed more fabulous tackiness ... tonight, Cher was a guest-judge, as well as a performer. AND the stars danced to Cher songs! WHAT COULD BE BETTER THAN THAT?

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Anyway, it was a night of glitter and craziness, which is every night for Cher.

"Dancing With the Stars" recap: Drama, drama and more drama!

At this point in the "Dancing With the Stars" competition, things get dramatic, and that showed this week. Everybody's pre-dance package was full of controversy, injuries and, of course, tons of drama! That's what happens, I guess, when D-listers have been dancing for this many weeks in a row.

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So let's not wait another minute! Onto the DRAMA:

'Dancing With the Stars' Week Six: Flailing D-Lister Crazy Dance Night O' Fun!

Whew! Competition is getting fierce on "Dancing With the Stars." Last week, a couple that received a 10 - from the very picky Len Goodman, no less - went home. We're not screwing around anymore. 

See? Not screwing around. No siree.

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OK, that's not true. "Dancing With the Stars" is always a little screwy. But it's halfway through the competition, and in addition to the first round of regular old dances there is a second round of IMPROVISED DANCES. They called it the Switchup Challenge. Four couples have to dance on the floor at one time, and the music keeps changing. They have to keep time and interpret the music, but they don't have to actually dance a certain dance. They get tapped out, and the longer they stay in, the more points they get.

Alrighty ... it's time for DANCING!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing With the Stars Week 5: Celebrity Sob-Fest

It's another week of "Dancing With the Stars!" And this week is the week when we got to hear all of the celebrity sob stories, because everybody danced a dance relating to their most memorable year. There will be lots of sweet, sweet celebrity tears.

Sorry, that's my cynical side again. I have actually historically liked this week of dances, because it humanizes the celebrities and they tend to put a lot into these dances. I'm just sad that several of my favorites from this season are already gone, because I would have loved to have seen what they would have done.

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Alas. Here are what the surviving D-listers did tonight:

Dancing With the Stars Week 4: The Prodigal Daughter Returns (As A Judge)

It seems like only a week ago we were saying goodbye to Bill Nye the Science Guy, but despite my deep disappointment that my favorite goofy-uncle contestant was gone too soon, I'm a professional and must soldier on in my recapping of The Glitteriest Show on Network Television. (There are much glitterier shows on basic cable, of course.) 

Tonight, Len Goodman was gone (probably off shaking a cane at whippersnappers on his lawn - if they told us why he was actually gone, I missed it, because I don't listen to all of the blather before the dancing) and in his place to judge was Julianne Hough, a former DWTS pro. 

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At first I was a little upset by this (as upset as I get over "Dancing With the Stars," anyway), since Julianne's brother, Derek Hough, is a pro (paired with Amber Riley), and she and Derek lived and trained with another DWTS pro, Mark Ballas (who is paired with Christina Milian this season) when they were kids. Then I remembered that the scores mean jack crap on this show and figured it was probably OK that she was judging. Plus, as Kel pointed out, the world of ballroom dance is small and full of people who know each other and trained together. Also, it turned out that she was a pretty good judge, with lots of constructive criticism and no apparent favoritism except for Brant when he took his shirt off. Thumbs up, Julianne!

So, here's what happened:

Dancing With the Stars Week 3: Hollywood Glamour & Goofiness

Once again, it's Monday, which means, once again, it's time for "Dancing With the D-List," where everything's made up and the points don't matter! 

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Oh, I'm just being sarcastic. I love our weekly foray into the world of sparkly insanity on the dance floor. And this week, it's Hollywood night, where movie stars are honored (since none of the titular stars are "movie stars," strictly speaking). Let's get down to business!

"Dancing With the Stars" Week 2: Jump, Jive and Rhumba

It's time for another week of "Dancing With the Stars," that wacky, sparkly celebration of D-list celebrities on the dance floor! This week, it had the added bonus that someone was eliminated! Let's get to it.

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"Dancing With the Stars" - Fun on Week One!

Are you ready for a whole lot of glitter, sequins, mirror balls, terrible dancing and D-list celebrities? I am, and thank goodness, because we'll get all of that and more this season on "Dancing With the Stars!"

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After a big group dance to start out the season, and a quick word from Tom Bergeron about voting - votes tonight will factor into who goes home next week, since there's no results show this year - it was time to kick off the two-hour tacky danstravaganza!

• Brant Daugherty & Peta Murgatroyd kicked off season 17 with a cha-cha-cha to Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines." I think I'm right about Brant being cannon fodder, because although he wasn't as atrocious as the clips of his rehearsal made him look, it still wasn't a very exciting dance. I felt like Brant was relatively stiff and just a little boring.Brant and Peta are totally playing the "attraction" card, though - they were already hitting on each other! The judges, however, were impressed, and thought their dance was sizzling. Bruno and Carrie Ann did point out some problems with timing, though. Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 8; Bruno: 7. Total: 22.
• Leah Remini & Tony Dovolani were up next with their version of a foxtrot to "Tears Dry on Their Own" by Amy Winehouse. Leah was very worried about whether she was going to do well, so all things considered, she really did a great job. I felt like her energy was a bit low, though, but I think that it was more of an attempt to be classy. However, Leah has a lot of potential, not to mention a lot of sass that I think will serve her well when she does more fun dances. The judges liked her dance, although Len did say that she was a bit "careful," which was a good word to use for her dance. Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 7; Bruno: 7. Total: 21.
• Corbin Bleu & Karina Smirnoff danced a contemporary dance to "If I Lose Myself" by OneRepublic. Corbin really knows how to move, which I guess we already knew because of his work on "High School Musical," but I was impressed with the artistry he showed. Contemporary dance is all about emotion, and he clearly knows how to show that through dance. I can already tell he's going to be one of the celebrities to watch every week. My only critique is that Corbin doesn't have his adorable floppy hair already. The judges were incredibly impressed - he has set the bar very high. Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8. Total: 24.
• Jack Osbourne & Cheryl Burke danced a foxtrot to "Pack Up" by Eliza Doolittle. He's incredibly light on his feet and incredibly charming and charismatic to watch. He's a little stiff and has a lot of problems with going back on his heels and not getting his full extensions on his arms, but I have to say that I really enjoyed the dance. Jack is going to be the guy who tries so hard and just charms absolutely everyone even if he's not the top dancer. (It doesn't hurt that his mom was so proud she was crying, which was a kind of touching.) Len said it was "well done," and Bruno thought it was very light and fun, although he told him to watch his turns. Scores: Carrie Ann 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 7. Total: 23.
• Amber Riley & Derek Hough were next with a cha-cha-cha to "Wings," made popular by the cast of "Glee." Amber has a ton of sass and is a great dancer! I love her attitude and the way she moves! I also adored her sparkly, spangly dress and big hair! It all came together into a super fun, fast, funky cha-cha that made me smile. Bruno called her "the tigress of season 17," and that's pretty appropriate. The judges were falling all over themselves for her dance, which Len called "full-on, flat-out fabulous." Scores: Carrie Ann: 9; Len: 9; Bruno: 9. Total: 27.
• Elizabeth Berkley & Val Chmerkovskiy danced a contemporary dance to "Imagine" by John Lennon. Elizabeth is another one who is clearly a great dancer, and I was impressed by how much side-by-side dancing she and Val were doing very well in sync. There were a few little hiccups, but it was brave to go side-by-side like that. I didn't think they were quite as good as Corbin & Karina, but it was still a very nice, emotional dance. Also, Val had his shirt open, which is never, ever, ever bad. The judges were super excited, again, with their performance. Len said it was "just lovely to watch." Bruno did tell her to extend her lines, though. Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 8. Total: 24.
• Bill Nye the Science Guy & Tyne Stecklein danced a cha-cha-cha to "Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo. Bill Nye knows exactly what he's doing, because he totally played up the dorky dude thing with the dance. His dancing was kind of all over the place, although, he did have a few decent moves, but what he really had was a personality and a general joy for dancing that was a lot of fun to watch. I hope he doesn't get overshadowed by all the really good dancers this season, because he was just a lot of fun to watch - like your dorky but totally awesome uncle at your cousin's wedding. The judges were unimpressed but Carrie Ann was right that he is the kind of contestant that is the "heart of the show." Scores: Carrie Ann: 5; Len: 4; Bruno: 4. Total: 14. (And yes, the judges got booed for that.)
• Keyshawn Johnson & Sharna Burgess were next, with a cha-cha-cha to "Treasure" by Bruno Mars. Keyshawn is super ploddy and not much of a good dancer. Mostly, he had Sharna dance around him, which, in her sparkly top and skintight gold pants, was, frankly, kind of mesmerising. I just kind of felt like Keyshawn's dance was a bit of a nothing. The judges said that he lost timing, even though he lost the moves, but they did like when he let loose later in the dance. Len liked his attitude but not the technique. Scores: Carrie Ann: 6; Len: 5; Bruno: 6. Total: 17.
• Christina Milian & Mark Ballas danced a contemporary to "Clarity" by Zedd. I didn't feel like she really had the same intensity as the other contemporary dances. However, I really like her strength, and I felt very drawn to some of her moves. There is something very interesting about Christina, and I think that I might really enjoy seeing what she can do from week to week. She moves well. The judges dinged her for her lack of connection and confidence, even though she moves well. They wanted her to open up more, because she has a lot of potential. Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 7; Bruno: 8. Total: 22.
• Bill Engvall & Emma Slater danced a foxtrot to "Hot Stuff" by Donna Summer. The other Bill took the floor and was the other dorky uncle at the wedding - the one who can dance a little bit better than the dorky scientist uncle, but still looks like a stiff goofball on the floor. He definitely moves OK, and had a lot of fun out there. He'll be another one of the delightfully mediocre dancers that will be great to watch each week as they just plain enjoy themselves. He is definitely the Redneck Ballroom King! The judges were happy that he went out there and did it, even though he needed some more fluidity. Scores: Carrie Ann: 6; Len: 6; Bruno: 6. Total: 18.
• Valerie Harper & Tristan MacManus were up next with a foxtrot to "Some Kind of Wonderful" by The Drifters. She moves incredibly well and is just so incredibly joyful. Yes, she's a little stiff, probably because she's in her 70s, but she has a lot of grace and beauty, and a wonderful presence in the ballroom. And, darn it, she's just having a blast out there. Who couldn't love watching her? She just lights up a room!!! The judges were very complimentary, and although she had a few little problems, the judges were just obviously touched by Valerie being on the show. (And, darn it, I was too! *sniff*) Scores: Carrie Ann: 7; Len: 7; Bruno: 7. Total: 21.
• Snooki & Sasha Farber finished out the show with a cha-cha-cha to "Wild Ones" by Flo Rida. Was it super cha-cha? Maybe not. But it had a lot of sass, and a lot of fun. Snooki is going to be that "Dancing With the Stars" contestant that I should hate, but I will actually love. She looked really good, tried really hard and had a lot of fun. Also, her sparkly pink dress was just plain delightful. Go Snooki!!!! The judges were happy with Snooki, especially because she just went for it. Scores: Carrie Ann: 8; Len: 8; Bruno: 7. Total: 23.

Jenny's final thoughts: I think this will be a fun season for "Dancing With the Stars," especially if we keep Bill Nye the Science Guy, Bill Engvall and Snooki on there for a while. (And if they secretly record backstage conversations between Bill Nye and Snooki, because who doesn't want to know what the two of them talk about.) I also love Jack Osbourne and, of course, Valerie Harper, because who wouldn't? As far as who I'd like to see go home, I would probably say Brant or Keyshawn should go home, just for being kind of boring. Right now, it's not so much about being a good dancer - it's about being entertaining. Overall, though, it was a pretty great show!

What did you think of the "Dancing With the Stars" premiere? Who would you send home?

'Dancing With the Stars' - Breaking Down the Cast

It's been nearly a week since we found out who would be gracing our TV screens with their presence on that most delightful and sparkly celebrity dance-off, "Dancing With the Stars."

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The show, which airs on Mondays on ABC, will have a few format changes, too, the most notable of which is the elimination of the results show. I am perfectly fine with that - in fact, I'm glad, because the results show was an exercise in tedium, and the results show is fleeing the scheduled to make room for "Marvel's Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.," which will be much, much, much more entertaining than waiting to find out which D-list celebrity gets booted from a silly dance show. I am interested to see how they handle the once-a-week format, though - when will we find out who gets eliminated? Will we have to wait a whole week?

Anyway, those are just housekeeping changes, though, because the main thing that people are interested in when discussing "Dancing With the Stars" is the celebrities who will take the stage to ballroom dance for our entertainment and/or mockery.

The most buzzed-about celeb-testant this season has to be Valerie Harper, the 74-year-old comedic actress who made a name for herself as Rhoda Morgenstern on "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" and its spinoff, "Rhoda." Harper is battling a rare, terminal form of brain cancer, but she has recently gotten good news from her doctors - her cancer is "nearly in remission," they say - and she is reportedly very excited to strap on her dancing shoes and get going. I'm thrilled that she's doing the show, because it's nice to see her positive attitude on display. She will be inspiring to many people, and I'm sure she'll go far in the competition. Harper is paired with Tristan McManus.

I'm probably most excited, though, about Bill Nye the Science Guy, who will partner up with new pro Tyne Stecklein this season. I grew up watching Bill Nye's show, and I still admire him today. He made a whole generation of kids really excited about science, and he's also charismatic and funny in addition to being incredibly smart. I will definitely be rooting for him!

Other contestants are:

• Brant Daugherty, of "Pretty Little Liars" fame (?), paired with Peta Murgatroyd. I know next to nothing about him, so I will reserve judgment until I see if he can dance or be interesting on camera. He smells faintly of cannon fodder, though.
• Jack Osbourne, son of rocker Ozzy Osbourne and former reality TV star, paired with Cheryl Burke. I have a soft spot in my heart for the whole crazy Osbourne clan. I think they're incredibly smart and savvy with the way that they portray themselves on TV and keep themselves in the spotlight, and I'm excited to see how it continues on the show. I also have to give Jack props for getting sober after a tough childhood, and I'm impressed that he will be putting himself out there after being diagnosed recently with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis, which may make his work on the show more difficult.
• Bill Engvall, stand-up comic and actor, paired with former troupe member Emma Slater. Engvall is a pretty funny comedian - his "Here's your sign" routine is still well-quoted in our family - and I'm glad to see a guy with a "normal" persona on the show. I think he'll do incredibly well with the audience, because he's expertly cultivated that "Aww, shucks, I'm just a country boy" demeanor. I am wondering if he can actually, ya know, dance, though.
• Keyshawn Johnson, former NFL player, paired with Sharna Burgess. I don't know much about Johnson, being not much of a football fan, but athletes often do very, very well on "Dancing With the Stars." I'll be watching with interest to see if he's one of them.
• Corbin Bleu, former star of the "High School Musical" franchise and other Disney Channel shows and movies, paired with Karina Smirnoff. The other class of celebrities, besides professional athletes, who have done very well on "Dancing With the Stars" is Disney Channel kids. Bleu has the added bonus that people who haven't watched the Disney Channel in a while might actually know who he is, because he was in "High School Musical." I liked him in those movies, and I'm sure he'll do great. 
• Snooki, from "Jersey Shore," paired with former troupe member Sasha Farber. I hate to admit that I'm really excited to see Snooki on here. For some reason, I just love her fame-seeking ways, and there's just something about her that keeps her interesting. Also, for the entire time that they're both on the show, I will be imagining the backstage conversations between her and Bill Nye the Science Guy. 
• Christina Milian, singer/actress, paired with Mark Ballas. I don't have a strong opinion about her one way or the other, to be honest. I'm guessing she'll be one of those people in the middle - not horrible, but ultimately overshadowed by her more charismatic co-stars. But you never know ... people have surprised me in the past!
• Elizabeth Berkley, "Saved by the Bell" and "Showgirls" actress, paired with Val Chmerkovskiy. Who isn't excited to see a former "Saved by the Bell" actress on "Dancing With the Stars." I never watched that show much, but it will be fun ... plus, there's another "Saved by the Bell" actress on the show. Also, Berkley has trained as a dancer, so she might end up being really, really good.
• Amber Riley, from "Glee," paired with Derek Hough. I like Riley, even though I haven't watched "Glee," in a while, and I'm excited to see what she can do. It will also be nice to, once again, have a woman with a fuller figure on the show. I'm always glad when they show that women like her can dance just as well as their skinnier sisters.
• Leah Remini, former "Saved by the Bell" and "The King of Queens" star, paired with Tony Dovlani. Again with the "Saved By the Bell" connection! That should excited fans of the show. It will be fun to see if any other "Saved By the Bell" actors show up to watch their former costars ... we could have a reunion! 

Who will you be rooting for on "Dancing With the Stars" this season?