Midweek (Wo)Man Candy: Matt Smith, Karen Gillan, Arthur Darvill and Alex Kingston

This week's Mancandy is slightly different in that, in honor of Doctor Who having started up again on Saturday, it will feature two hot men and two hot women (a first for our Mancandy). Without further ado, enjoy the hotness that is Matt Smith, Arthur Darvill, Karen Gillan and Alex Kingston.

(From left, Kingston, Darvill, Smith and Gillan)

"Doctor Who," if you haven't seen it, is a super amazing show, and this crop of main characters is especially wonderful.

Matt Smith plays The Doctor, the time-traveling alien now in his eleventh incarnation. Smith is the youngest actor to play The Doctor, and he also has the floppiest hair. He has a manic energy reminiscent of the Tenth Doctor (played by David Tennant) but with a quirky, dark edge. Also, he has the unique ability to be able to rock a bow tie, a fez and a stetson. He's not a beefy hunk like the Ninth Doctor (Christopher Eccleston), nor is he as adorable and twiggy as the Tenth Doctor, but he has a quirky, classic look. And delightful cheekbones.

Karen Gillan plays Amy Pond, a companion of The Doctor. It does not surprise me that Gillan used to be a model, because she is absolutely gorgeous. She's tall and classically beautiful, and she has the most wonderful, beautiful red hair. When we first see her on "Doctor Who," she's wearing a risque police uniform (she's working as a kissogram), and she looks great in the outfit! Gillan does a great job as Amy - she's funny and curious and super, super sassy - and she has an adorable Scottish accent to boot!

Arthur Darvill plays Rory Williams, another companion of The Doctor and Amy's fiance/husband. Darvill is adorable in that "normal guy" way - he's believably good-looking. Rory can be a bit of a passive character at times, but his is also probably the most interesting character because he takes quite a journey to become more heroic. Rory also is an amazingly loyal guy, which also goes a long way to making Darvill quite crush-worthy. The boy also looks good in a Roman soldier outfit and really, what more can you ask for in a guy?

Alex Kingston plays River Song, who ... well, we won't go into that so that people who haven't seen this latest season don't get some major spoilers. She's a pretty mysterious character through most of the series - we know that she is somebody very important to The Doctor, but their shared history/future is a complicated tale we're only starting to unravel. Kingston is also a very beautiful woman, but in a different way from Karen Gillan. She's not a willowy model type, but rather she's a bit more muscular and tough looking. She's really most at home on "Doctor Who" when she's being a bad-ass bitch (although she does have quite a cheeky, whimsical side). And her mess of curly hair is just the icing on the Alex Kingston cake!

"Dancing With the Stars:" LGBT Edition!

They just announced the cast of "Dancing With the Stars," and it's the same wonderful mix of random celebrities and athletes as always.

But I'm glad, and GLAAD's glad, that ABC has decided to embrace some diversity and have an openly gay man and a transgendered man on the show this season! Talk about a step forward!

Carson Kressley, of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" fame, and Chaz Bono, of "Being Sonny & Cher's Kid" fame, are both set to hoof it on DWTS this season.

First of all, I absolutely love Carson. I did a girly little squeal when he was announced. His segments were always my favorite on "Queer Eye," because he has so much energy and he is clearly passionate about fashion. (Although, I must say, after many hours of watching "Chopped," my all-time favorite of the Fab Five is now Ted Allen.) You can critique "Queer Eye" for stereotyping gay men a bit - not all gay guys are fabulously fashionable like the guys on the show - but it was really an overall positive show that I think helped people accept gay people a little bit more. Also, I hope that he gets to dress himself and his partner on DWTS because he has great taste.

But, really, is anybody going to blink an eye at Carson? Flamboyant, fashionable gay men have been on TV for years. It's always good to have another positive gay role model, but he won't exactly be a surprise to people.

No, the real challenge, the real surprise, the real shock to people has been, and will be, Chaz Bono. I sure don't envy him ... he's going to be THE spokesman for transgenders on TV, because how many other transgendered people do you see on TV? Shows on Logo don't count. I think I remember one other transgendered person on a network show, Isis on "America's Next Top Model" (who is going to be on the show's All-Stars edition this year!). Chaz is practically alone as a transgendered person on network TV. Thankfully he's already dipped his toes into those waters with the documentary about his life and transition from female to male, and he's done the talk show circuit ... but this is a huge show with a huge following. He's an incredibly brave man to do this.

The obnoxious questions have already started, starting with, "Will Chaz Bono dance with a MAN or with a WOMAN?" To me, someone who has made a point to learn how to be sensitive to LGBT issues as much as possible, knew the answer was "woman," because Chaz is a man regardless of the fact that he was, biologically, a woman when he was born ... but just that question told me that there's going to be a huge learning curve for your average American as they watch Chaz's "Dancing With the Stars" journey.

There has also been some backlash, with Reuters reporting that some fans of the show are upset about Chaz being cast. Other people are rightly calling them out for their bigotry against him, but it must be hard for Chaz to see people writing online that they're "sick" that he's going to be on TV because he was once a woman. (Of course, other people are upset because he's overweight and only on the show because he has famous parents ... but if those weren't allowed then they wouldn't have a show!)

At any rate, I hope Chaz goes on there, dances his ass off and shows the haters that he deserves to be on the show! And even if there are people out there who are narrow-minded and dislike him or Carson because of their sexualities, I hope that there are people out there who are inspired by their bravery and their unwillingness to allow small-minded people to silence them from being who they are!

Go Carson! Go Chaz! I am so glad there are brave people like you on TV!

Bachelor Pad: Kiss and Tell

It's that time of the week again ... the time when you start to wonder whether you can get herpes just from watching TV. I hope not, because if you could, I would certainly be infected after watching "Bachelor Pad."

It's just me, Jen, recapping the show this week. I'm sure Kel would have joined me, but she is wending her way through New England, trying to avoid flooding in order to get home. I'm sure she'll be sad she missed this delightful dramafest!

Last week, we ended the rose ceremony with Chris Harrison saying that Kasey was still in the game, which meant Jake was out! I was sure that the fact that they didn't show his "goodbye" was because he and Kasey got into a huge fight or something, but the truth was actually much, MUCH less exciting. Jake just told the remaining Pad People, "Although we had a chance to do something really big tonight ... it just didn't happen. I think you're sending the wrong guy home." He urged them to "do the right thing" and take out the power couples. And told Kasey it was "amazing meeting you" and said, "Vienna, my apologies."

In the limo ride back to the clean world, Jake said that his main reason for doing "Bachelor Pad" was to confront Vienna and move on, which he accomplished - though he would have liked the quarter of a million bucks. Still, he said, "The last time I left in a limousine, I was heartbroken. This time, I'm just kinda glad to be out of that fucking crazyhouse." Bye-bye Jake ... we'll miss you!

Now for the competition! Tonight was the super exciting second annual "Bachelor Pad Kissing Contest!"

Michelle sits out because she has just SO MANY MORALS YOU GUYS! But everyone else is game. Blake is especially pumped about kissing Holly, and says, "I'm going to do a tonsillectomy today. The doctor is in." Ummm, gross.

Holly is the first one to get kissed by all the guys. She says all the guys kiss "like grandmas" until she gets to Blake, who really goes after it. Michael is not thrilled, of course, because Holly is his ex-fiance and he wants them to get back together. Blake really goes for the kissing, except for when he gets to Vienna because Kasey is scary.

The girls are much more gung-ho about kissing the guys. Erica actually looks like she might devour their faces. The girls also don't kiss Michael much because of Holly. But, Holly kisses Blake a lot!

All I know after watching the kissing contest is that I hope all the "Bachelor Pad" contestants are tested for STDs, or there's going to be a raging case of mouth herpes going around.

Overwhelmingly, Ella and Blake win the contest and they both get roses. They also get to go on a romantic one-on-one date this week with a rose up for grabs.

Ella gets the first date card, and it says, "Your future is up in the air." She picks Kirk to go with her, and when they step outside, there is a hot, red, convertible Ferrari in the driveway. William is jealous: "If I could go back, I'd do the kissing competition way differently. I'd be the biggest manwhore." They go have a romantic meal and talk for a while about how Ella's mom was shot by Ella's stepdad when she was a kid and how she wants to start an organization. Ella gives Kirk the rose, and they go for a super romantic hot air balloon ride in the dark.

Back in the house, Melissa says she feels secure that she will go on the date and get the rose from Blake because they've been together since day one. But she hasn't completely realized that Blake is totally playing her and is a skeezy douchenozzle. After Blake shakes off Melissa, Erica pounces. She gives Blake a massage while trying to convince him to take HER on the date. Crafty.

Blake's date card arrives, and it says, "Love the slippery slope." He chooses Holly to take on the date. And then ... the house explodes. Not really. But Holly is surprised, Erica looks slightly sad, and Melissa storms out of the room and sobs. "I would rather be alone than feel pain like that!" she says. She calls Blake a sociopath and promises to trash his reputation. "Blake's been using me!" she cries. Ding ding ding! She finally figured it out, ladies and gentlemen! The girls decide that Holly was in on the plan all along (I don't think she was). Melissa continues to rage and storm and tries to get Holly to not go on the date. Holly insists she just wants to get out of the house. (She is dumb enough not to get why Melissa wants her to refuse, I think.) Meanwhile, Michael starts brooding about the fact that Holly is going on a date with Blake. "There is a large part of me that wants to rip his face off," he says. Finally, Blake and Holly leave for their date. "If looks could kill, I think both of them would have been shot in the back of the head," Ella observes.

Blake and Holly climb into a limo, which sweeps them off to the airport, where the board a private jet to a ski resort. Holly is a little worried because she can't ski, and she kind of should be - she falls down a lot and looks like a complete goober on national TV. Poor Holly ... I feel for her because I've never skiied either! Despite her lack of skiing skill, Holly has a ton of fun, especially when she and Blake wrestle in the snow. She discovers she hasn't really thought about Michael at all, and she is confused about how she feels. They have dinner by a bonfire in the mountains, and Holly gets the rose. Then, they decide to stay all night together at the ski resort, where they "make out."

Michael really misses Holly. He looks into the fire and broods all night.

The next morning, Michael is still really upset, and Holly is super confused about whether she wants to be with Michael, because she liked kissing Blake. Holly tells Vienna that she still hurts because she was deeply in love with Michael, but Michael walked away from their relationship. "I don't know if that can be fixed," she says.

Chris Harrison announces that we're back to normal voting procedures ... girls vote for guys, guys vote for girls and one of each gender is leaving. The strategy begins, and once again I realize that this definitely isn't "Survivor." Everybody kind of talks about voting off Kasey and Vienna, but they start to work their voodoo magic and people are also talking about voting off William (because he's duller than dishwater) and Melissa (because she's getting super annoying). Melissa goes crazy trying to save herself, to the point where she asks Kasey about 5 times whether he voted for her; William sits back and does nothing.

Let's just cut straight to the chase - neither strategy works. William and Melissa are gone. William says he thinks they saw him as the "easy guy out" because he didn't fight and didn't have a partner, and he is completely right. He cries in the limo. Melissa ugly-cries in the limo.

The real question now is ... when will they wise up and vote out Kasey and Vienna already!? They are getting on my nerves, yo!

"True Blood:" A Parting of the Ways

This is the third from the last episode of this season, and things are getting heated. In this episode alone, we had a death, a major revelation and, in general, a big ol' parting of the ways between the vampires and their strongest human ally.

When we last left Sookie and the vampires, Marntonia was using the sheriffs, including Eric, to kill King Bill. As Eric swoops in for the kill, Sookie uses her fairy magic to break them apart and break the spell Marntonia has over Eric. Of course, that also breaks the spell that took away Eric's memories, and suddenly, the "real" Eric is back! As Marntonia looks around the room at the carnage - which includes a lot of humans - she asks, "What have I done?"

In other repercussions from last week, Jason asks Jessica to glamour him so that he won't feel guilty for sleeping with his best friend's ex-girlfriend. Jessica does not take kindly to that suggestion and storms away. "Fucking humans!" she huffs. "I'm going to find someone to eat!" Jason, the definition of tact.

Meanwhile, Alcide is driving Tommy to the hospital after he got the everliving shit beat out of him by Packleader Marcus and his minions while posing as Sam. But Tommy tells Alcide he's dying and asks him to take him "home," to Merlotte's.

And Tara, Holly and the other witches are still stuck in Moon Goddess Emporium, trying to find a spell that would break the protective spell keeping them in, despite the fact they don't know Latin to chant the spells.

Nan and Bill are in the midst of a power struggle ... which I have to say, makes Bill look extra hot. Nan is all about the spin, but Bill wants to take out Marntonia once and for all. Elsewhere in Bill's mansion, Eric tells Sookie that he remembers everything. "I haven't changed," he says. "I'm just more." The problem, Sookie explains, is that even though she loves Eric, and Eric still loves her, Sookie also loves Bill. She says she was able to summon her fairy power because she "couldn't bear the thought of a world without him." Oh, how I hope Sookie gets to have sex with Full Memory Eric at least once.

Pam also reappears, extremely thankful Eric is back to normal. They walk out of the room and run into Bill and Nan talking, and Sookie is shocked by the fact that they would blow up Moon Goddess despite the fact innocent people - including Tara - would die. "It's war. It happens," Bill says. Eric stands in a corner making snide remarks, and I realize just how much I missed the quippier, more evil version of Eric Northman.

Alcide takes Tommy back to Merlotte's, where Sam nurses him. Alcide and Sam try to convince Tommy that dying won't be so bad because he'll see loved ones, but he's having none of that. Tommy apologizes to Sam, telling him, "You were the best part of my life," and then dramatically dies (just as he was getting interesting). Sam is distraught, and Marcus better watch out ... Sam tells Alcide, "Marcus Bozeman is a dead fucking wolf."

Jason and Hoyt have some awkwardness when Hoyt comes over and asks Jason if he can stay with Jason for a few days. Hoyt claims he doesn't miss Jessica, but he cries over her as he thinks about how he expects her to come out of her hidey-hole at night. Jason is uncharacteristically quiet through the whole exchange, but later goes over to Sookie's house. Jason is pretty hilarious when he tells Sookie that Hoyt is either crying or ranting or telling him something he's already heard. Then, even worse, Jason tells Sookie, "He drank 11 of my beers, passed out and started farting." Jason wants to stay with Sookie, and Sookie agrees, then tells him about the whole Moon Goddess situation.

Meanwhile, over in Bellefleur Mansion, Terry confronts Andy about his V use after he and Arlene find a vial of the drug in the house. They go to "Fort Bellefleur," their childhood treehouse (where Terry stayed for a year after getting out of the Marines), and Terry tries to get Andy to stop taking V by challenging him to a shooting match, talking about how hard their childhoods were and wrestling with it. Andy promises Terry he'll get clean.

Jason and Sookie go talk to Lafayette and Jesus about the Moon Goddess situation, and Jesus decides he wants to talk to Marnie because she's the victim in all of this. Jesus thinks he can get Marnie out of Antonia's clutches if he talks to her. Meanwhile, Antonia and Marnie return with two vampire zombie slaves. They split back out into two people, and in a rather big character reveal, we discover that Antonia is feeling very skeptical of the plan because of the innocent people that will die, and Marnie is the one who is gung-ho about it! Marnie convinces Antonia to keep going ... which will throw a wrench into Jesus' plan, that's for sure!

Right about that time, Nan, Jessica, Bill, Eric and Pam are silvered in the basement arguing about their plan. Nan threatens Eric and Pam with the true death, but Bill, Eric and Pam are pretty dang set on their plan to blow Moon Goddess to smithereens. Jessica doesn't care what they do, "as long as I get to kill shit," she says.

Marcus is visiting Debbie Pelt, who is upset that Alcide never came home and doesn't want to have children and doesn't want to be part of the pack. Marcus tells her that she needs to hook up with another wolf. "I'm almost ready," she says. Alcide, meanwhile, goes with Sam to the motorcycle shop, and the pair beat up Marcus' guy. There is going to be a wonderful werewolf/shifter fight sometime in the next two episodes, I'm guessing.

Lafayette, Jesus, Sookie and Jason make it to Moon Goddess, and Jesus tries to get in. Unfortunately, the protective spell is very strong around the building, but he gets in with the help of his demon buddy. He talks to Marnie and discovers that she is behind the plan. Thankfully Sookie has the power of telepathy, and he tells Sookie to run. Right about that same time, Tara and Holly finally break the spell holding them in the store and run outside, so of course Sookie, Lafayette and Jason to run to them. Marntonia discovers that the spell has broken and she zaps Sookie, Tara, Holly and Lafayette ... somewhere. Poor Jason is left outside the protective sphere.

When night falls ... Bill, Eric, Pam and Jessica jump out of a van, looking super hot, grab some weapons and start slow-motion walking to the store.

TO. BE. CONTINUED.

Bachelor Pad: Synchronized Craziness

Kel ditched Bachelor Pad last week partway through and, really, who could blame her. Last week was lame-o. But instead of giving up completely, she is back this week for a more interesting, amusing, drama-filled and Speedo-laden episode.

We start right after the rose ceremony from last week. Blake and Melissa fight, apparently still over Blake and Holly hanging out. Melissa is majorly crazy! And Blake is a major douche. We definitely like that Melissa is calling out Blake on all his shit. Work it, crazy eyes! Blake is trying to convince Melissa that he isn't playing her. Melissa may be crazy, but she isn't wrong. Deal with it, douchebag.

Time for another rose challenge, and there are two roses up for grabs today - one for guys and one for girls. Blake needs the rose because Melissa is pissed at him. Jake needs to win because everyone is still pissed at him (and by everyone, we mean Vienna).

The challenge is synchronized swimming! The girls are excited. The boys are not. But we are. Oh yes, we are. Michael is either excited or fake excited. Either way, awesome! They will be judged based on skill, technique, and showmanship. The teams are gender divided. This is officially Kel's favorite challenge ever in the history of everything. Jen has to agree.

The practices are a hot mess. The girls are very "over it" and don't really take the challenge seriously. They seem to think that the guys are naturally going to screw it up because they're guys. The guys are taking nothing for granted - they work hard and put everything into it. And then, they take everything off ... except Speedos! Work it, boys! They may be dumb, as evidenced by the fact that they're on "Bachelor Pad" in the first place, but they sure are hot.

The judges are a synchronized swimmer and the Bachelor Pad winners from last season. We don't know who we are, so we don't care. And the swimmer is the only one who actually judges - the Bachelor Pad winners are just there for eye candy. Or something.

The girls were a hot honeyed mess. Michelle and Vienna stood out apparently. Erica really stood out to us, though, because she just flailed around in the pool doing nothing that remotely resembled their routine. Kel pointed out, probably correctly, that this is how Jen would look if she tried to do synchronized swimming.

Then it was the boys' turn, and they boys worked it! They really hammed it up and loved it and were silly, yet worked hard on their routine. Michael and Jake stood out.

The winner for the guys is Michael! We wished it would have been Jake, but Michael is alright because he's just so darn sweet. The winner for the girls is Michelle. And Vienna is pissed - she feels robbed! Cry me a river, Vienna!

The dates are the same as last week. Each winner gets to pick three people and give out one rose.

And now, an actual conversation between Jen and Kel:
Kel: Who the fuck is Graham? Has he been on previous episodes?
Jen: I don't remember him. I think they add people on this show just to fuck with us.

Yeah, that just happened. (Sorry for the cursing, mom!)

Anyway...back on to the drama!

Erica and Jake are hooking up! Not in the sleeping with each other way, but in the scheming way. They shall forever be known as Team Skeezy! We love it! Erica is crazypants, but in such a fun way! But Erica is in with the mob. And now Kasey thinks that Vienna is being too nice to Jake. Oooo - cracks are forming, as evidenced by Kasey and Vienna fighting! Apparently what is happening is that Vienna is not an uber bitch to Jake 24/7, which is making Kasey think that everyone is going to not vote Jake out. But Vienna claims that she does want Jake out. So, Kasey calls Vienna stupid and a fame whore (well, if the shoe fits ...), and claims that she doesn't want to be in the house. He also calls her out for trying to garner fake sympathy, and ... you know what? We don't even know anymore and, apparently, neither does the cameraman because they keep showing shots of a marker and Vienna's tits. Part of the confusion might be that Kasey doesn't move his mouth when he talks.

Date time, with Michelle; she takes Graham the new guy, Kasey and Blake. What an odd combo of people! They go to a vineyard to, naturally, drink wine. Blake is trying to spin that Melissa is crazy, but Michelle is on to him. She is friends with Melissa and is trying to crack Blake. And she brought Graham because she wants to mack on him. But she isn't sure if he likes her. We didn't listen to their conversation because, yawn, but then they started kissing! And Graham got the rose. Shocker!

Michael's date is with Vienna, Ella and Holly, who doesn't really want to go.

Jen and Kel conversation part 2:
Jen: Is there an Ellen on this show? Oh. Is there an Ella on this show?
Kel: I think they added her when they added Graham.

Michael and Holly, who, if you remember, used to be engaged, are not on the same page, even though Michael thinks they are. *cough*awkward*cough* The date involves riding horses, which is cool so, naturally, Vienna bitches - first about having to wear a helmet, then about the horses being in the sun, and then the smell. What a fun person.

Cut to the house, and Blake has completely missed the point of what Michelle told him. He is now trying to make up with Melissa by pretending that he didn't mean to be a douche. Gah! We fucking hate Blake. Suck it, dude.

Back to the date of awkwardness. Kel feels bad for Micheal because she feels like he is a genuinely nice guy. Again, he is too sweet to mock. Which makes his conversation with Holly super boring for her to blog. And Jen didn't pay attention because, yawn.

Back at the Trashy Ranch, the boys are trying to do strategy. It's cute when they try to think like the big kids! It would be fun to see these assclowns on "Survivor."

Erica decides to team up with Jake. They are both playing each other! Erica is using Jake to win. Jake is using Erica to win. So it's OK!

Back to Michael. He cuts the girls who aren't Holly loose, and then Bret Michaels shows up! Michael does a dorky little dance that he was probably very ashamed to see on TV tonight. Bret Michaels is so fun. He really knows who he is and knows that he's a dork. I like it. And OMG! He sings "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" and that song is, like, totally about their relationship.

Back to drama at the house! It is Kasey/Vienna's 6 month anniversary. Kasey got Vienna a ring, and her response is "I don't want it to be an engagement ring." Which, it isn't. It is a promise ring. But now Kasey is questioning how much Vienna likes him. Kasey is singing, which made my poor sweet coworker throw up in her mouth. An appropriate reaction, as his singing is the worst thing I've heard in years.

Erica tries to sway people to save herself and get rid of Melissa and Kasey. She spies on Jake and Melissa to find out information. Which is awesome. Erica promptly turns everybody against Melissa. Princess is not as stupid as she looks.

Melissa scrambles to not get voted out, but Erica is spying again! She half-walks, half-crawls to the couch where Melissa is sitting, talking to some guy, and squats behind it, basically in plain sight. It's one of the best things in the history of television. Melissa freaks out, and Erica totally orchestrated that entire thing. She is like the Russell Hantz of "Bachelor Pad." The good thing about Melissa freaking out for Blake is that now he doesn't seem like as much as a douche. Except he is.

Now, the only person Melissa trusts is Jake, because Jake is nice to her. However, mostly he is just nice to her to get her to stay through the vote to try to get Kasey out - but at least he is telling her up front that he wants her to stay to vote for Kasey.

This week, no women are leaving "Bachelor Pad." But everyone is voting off a guy. What a twist.

Basically, it is going to come down to Jake or Kasey going home. Jake and Erica scheme, and we cement our allegiance to Team Skeezy. Erica tries to solve the Melissa/Blake drama in payment for Blake voting out Kasey.

In addition to the fact that Kasey is an obnoxious ass, we also want Kasey to go home because it will piss Vienna off more than anything else. Everyone freaks out, and Kasey scrambles and is freaking out that "friends" are stabbing him in the back. Like Erica. Who is carrying around a gavel. We love you, Erica. Jake and Kasey also talk, which is awkward. Kasey still wants to punch Jake. Jen wants to kick Kasey in the balls. William (Captain America from last season) also shows up in the mix, which confuses the heck out of Kel because she didn't remember that he was still on the show because they haven't shown him in weeks. Did he reappear when Graham and Ella showed up?

The guys safe are Michael (won the challenge), Graham (got the date rose), Kirk, William, Blake, and.....*drum roll* Kasey!

Aaaaaaand ... Black. Cue Kel and Jen pouting. We hope Jake stirs much shit up when he leaves.

Quotables of the Night:

"Apparently he has alligator blood."--Kasey, a fountain of WTFery

"The closest thing I've done to synchronized swimming is laying out by the pool."--Erica

"I am so much better than all the other girls."--Vienna, showing her true colors

"Jake could win this competition alone on the fact that he has such a big package."--Erica, understanding the true point of the swimming competition

"I would like to apologize for what we just did to your sport."--Chris Harrison, to the synchronized swimming woman.

"This is ridiculous."--Kasey, taking the words right out of Kel's mouth.

"I can't trust Melissa any farther than I can throw her. And even though she's really tiny, that isn't very far."--Erica

"True Blood:" Some Unexpected Surprises

Another Sunday night, another "True Blood" ending in a cliffhanger. Yes, I gasped at the rather abrupt and exciting end of "Let's Get Out of Here" ... with Eric leaping toward Bill, intending to kill him, and Sookie shouting "RUN!" This season has been steadily improving, and this week featured another fantastic episode with twists, turns, a nice ass shot of Joe Manganiello (he and Alexander Skarsgaard should have an ass-off) and lots of hot sex!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. At the end of last week, Sookie got shot, and Alcide scooped her up and sprinted toward her house. Bill snatches her and tries to give her blood, to no avail. Alcide and Bill sit vigil at her bedside ... err, couchside ... until she wakes up. The first words out of her mouth when she wakes up with two extremely sexy guys in her living room, watching over her: "Where's Eric?" Bill promises he's got people looking for him, but Alcide is done with the vampire stuff. He goes back home to Debbie, who has been watching "Cheaters" (love it!) but is pretending to sleep, takes off his clothes (love it, too!) and snuggles with her. Debbie's eyes glow werewolf yellow. Uh-oh.

So, where is Eric? Why, he's on Marntonia's thrall, back at Moon Goddess Emporium after the vampire/witch skirmish. Tara and many of the other witches are understandably upset about the fact that Antonia didn't take Bill's peace offering. She tells them that they are going to use Eric at the vampire-run Festival of Tolerance to let people "see what vampires are capable of and what we are capable of doing to them." Sinister!

Sam is at Luna's house, after Marcus has left and Emma has finally gone to sleep, and he convinces Luna that they should go camping to get away from Marcus.

Jessica is still crushed by Hoyt breaking up with her and Jason rejecting her, and she cries to Nan Flanagan, who is at Bill's mansion before the Festival of Tolerance. "I wish I was dead, except I already am, and it doesn't even matter!" she wails. "There have been times, I'll admit, that it's occurred to me that I should put my career on hold and become a maker," Nan says. "But there last several hours with you have erased those doubts forever." When Bill gets there, they chain themselves with silver and discuss why the Festival of Tolerance is so important to Nan - namely, because there will be a lot of people there and they want to make them see that vampires are nice. Nan also berates Bill for all the issues they've been having lately. "I didn't think it was possible," she says, "but you make me long for Queen Sophie Ann."

Tommy is writing a goodbye letter - good plan, Tommy, because I tire of your crap! - but Marcus comes and tells Tommy to tell Sam to meet him at his motorcycle shop that night. Sam is still camping, and he turns into a bunny because Emma wants to pet a bunny. Aww!

Hoyt gets up early and hungover and starts putting Jessica's stuff (including "Twilight!" Hilarious detail!) into the "Monster Box" for him to give back to her. But suddenly, Lafayette comes in with Arlene's baby and demands that Hoyt leaves "my house" - except Lafayette, of course, has been possessed by Mavis. Jason and Andy (who takes some V) try to diffuse the situation, but eventually Jesus comes over. (Jason, hilariously, pronounces his name like you pronounce the name of God's son.) Jason asks him, "When you guys roleplay, does Lafayette ever play a woman named Mavis?" "I'm going to forget you just said that and go in," Jesus retorts. Jesus talks to Mavis and discovers that she was stabbed by her babydaddy and wants to hold her baby one more time. They dig under the tree and find the remains of Mavis and her baby, and then Jesus does some brujo magic and frees her. Everyone is suitably impressed.

Sookie, meanwhile, has a dream in which she's wearing a red neglige and both Eric and Bill are in her house during the day. Sookie has had the blood of both Bill AND Eric recently, and you know what drinking vampire blood means! The guys try to fight over Sookie, but she tells them that they need to talk because she "could be dreaming about anything, like swimming with a dolphin, or eating a whole pie without consequences." She tells them that she loves them both and she doesn't want to be either guy's. "I'm proposing that the two of you be mine." She strips down to her bra and panties, and Bill and Eric start kissing her all over. They both bite her at the same time ... and she wakes up. No, Sookie ... I wanted to see where this was going!

Debbie Pelt buys some vampire blood and drinks it, then goes to Sookie's house. I'm thinking, "Oooh, this is it!" (If you've read the books, you know what happens to Debbie in book 4.) But no ... Debbie says she wants to help Sookie. She even brings flowers! Sookie listens to Debbie's thoughts and her motives are apparently pure. They're going to work together!

Alcide, meanwhile, agrees to move up in the pack because it's important to Debbie. Marcus wants him to hang around when Sam shows up. Which he does ... except it's Tommy skinwalking! They beat the crap out of him until Alcide intervenes. Meanwhile, Sam and Luna are having hot, hot camping sex in their tent. This will not endear Sam to Marcus, I'm guessing.

Debbie shows up at Moon Goddess Emporium, and Sookie sneaks in the back. Debbie tells Antonia that she represents the pack. Sookie finds Eric, who tells her that he is supposed to kill Bill, and Tara finds Sookie and tells her through her thoughts that they've been held hostage by Antonia and where Bill is. Sookie charges Tara and escapes with Debbie's help, and Antonia takes Eric and her favorite minion, Roy, to the hotel to wreak some havoc!

Meanwhile, Hoyt has Jason take Jessica her box of stuff and, surprise surprise ... they end up having sex. Hot, impromptu sex. In the bed of his truck. Nice.

When Antonia gets to the Festival of Tolerance, which features lots of pro-vampire PR, she gets the other vampire sheriffs under her thrall, too. Sookie runs in as Bill is speaking, but that's the same time Antonia gets the vampires to disembowel some guards. "Bill, they're coming for you!" Sookie shouts. Eric, under Antonia's command, flies toward Bill. "Run!" Sookie shouts.

And ... scene. I really have to wait a week to see what happens next!?

Feast-For-the-Eyes Friday: Jason Momoa

Because there are so many gorgeous men in the world that we can't feature just one a week ... we're instituting "Feast-For-the-Eyes Friday" ... and for the first one, we've decided to feature none other than the gorgeous and manly Jason Momoa.

(Photo from IMDB)

Jason Momoa first came to our attention on HBO's "Game of Thrones," where he played beefy warrior Khal Drogo. And now he's playing beefy warrior Conan in the new "Conan the Barbarian" movie.

He is definitely a feast for the eyes. I mean, look at him. He is 100% man, with big muscles, wonderful abs and really delightful chesticles. On "Game of Thrones," he also wore guyliner and a top that accentuated his pecs ... bonus! It really is a feat for a guy to pull off guyliner in a manly way and Momoa is the perfect example of how to do it...have ridiculous muscles!

Momoa is a good actor in the sneering barbarian role, but he seems funny and sweet offscreen. When asked if his kids, Lola Iolani and Nakoa-Wolf, would see "Conan," he replied, "“They’ll never see it till they’re 19. They don’t need to see those parts of Daddy!”

So we've got a huge hunk of a man, who is rarely seen with a shirt on, who rocks guyliner in a totally manly way, and is funny. I can think of nothing that could make him hotter. Except maybe if he did all of it while holding a golden doodle puppy. He would even make that look super manly.