Mom is one badass Mother

Mother's Day is coming up this weekend. And even though we will not be seeing Mom for it (she and dad went to Florida ... bitches!) we want to take a few minutes to talk about why Mom is awesome. And just for the record, Dad is awesome, too. It would just be weird to write a blog about him for Mother's Day ... he'll get his blog in June.

This is why Mom is awesome:

• Her nickname is Patty Pissypants. And it is a self-assigned nickname. Mom is a genuinely nice person and most everyone likes her. However, she tends to get pissy about things. And when she does, she turns into Patty Pissypants. And yes, we all refer to her as such when she is being pissy. Related: Jen's nickname is Jenny Sassypants. Kel does not have a ***pants nickname, though I'm sure Jen could come up with a few choice names.
• She will watch most any movie (except for scary movies). She watched "Dogma" with Kel when Kel was in high school. She was the one who first made Kel watch "Total Recall" and was overly excited about the scene of gratuitous shooting. She loves awesome movies like "Die Hard" and "Blazing Saddles." And most of all, Mom went to see "Snakes on a Plane" with us. In theaters. And loved it. Mom's favorite movies involve Nicholas Cage, The Rock, or Samuel L. Jackson, but she and Jen go see a movie almost every week (except when she does something silly, like goes to Florida the week "Dark Shadows" comes out!).
• She is always glad to give great life advice. Even though we do not always take said advice. And Kel tends to get annoyed because Mom never seems to want to give advice when asked for it. (Example...Kel: "Should I buy this awesome, yet expensive jacket?" Mom: "I don't know. Do you think you should buy it?" Kel: "I am just asking for your opinion. If you were me, would you buy it?" Mom: "You need to decide that for yourself." Kel: "I will. I just want a second opinion." Mom: "It is up to you".) But in general, she gives good advice.
• Her favorite place to go is Disney World. And she has fun Disney shirts, like her Perry the Platypus shirt. And she quotes Disney attractions ("Maybe BEAN could set off the fireworks!"). And sends us pictures when she goes to Disney World. And sometimes she even lets us tag along.
• She has a really great sense of humor. And not in a joke telling sort of way (that's dad's territory). Just in a way that when mom comes to visit, we will be laughing until we cry at least once. Mom and Kel have numerous ridiculous inside jokes that very few people understand, but make them laugh (the frog croak, the angry goat).
• She lets us do our own thing. We are both really independent and Mom is OK with that. In fact, she's happy about it. She's never been a helicopter parent, she encouraged us to do what we wanted to do in college, and now we both have a great relationship with her because we don't have to worry about her nagging us to get married or give her grandchildren or anything like that.
• She stays up on pop culture, because she's awesome like that. And it makes it even easier for us to communicate with her because she understands whatever obscure movie or TV show we're quoting. (A skill we learned from her.)
• She has excellent taste in books, and was the person who discovered the Sookie Stackhouse books and got us started on reading them. 
• She is a darn good Kitty Grandma. Not only does she go on kitty feeding/litterbox/petting duty when Jen goes on vacation, but she was also a great help when Jen had to put one of her cats to sleep a couple of months ago.
• Mom owns a Honey Badger shirt. Because Honey Badger don't care.

Mom ... you rock!

 "Why yes. Yes I do."

Libraries banning 50 Shades of Grey...again

Do we really have to go over this again? I mean...really?

First argument out of the way...it isn't porn. IT IS NOT PORN. 50 Shades of Grey is not porn. Erotica does not equal porn. See: http://jenandkelpoptarts.blogspot.com/2012/04/books-in-pop-culture.html and http://smartbitchestrashybooks.com/blog/romance-arousal-and-condescension . Any argument for 50 Shades of Grey being kept out of a library that includes the word "porn" is an invalid argument. If your argument is "it is porn" or "what is next? porn?" or "children shouldn't be exposed to porn", it is an invalid argument and you are an idiot. Porn is porn. Erotica is not porn. Clear? Good? Ok, let's move on.

I am a librarian and I am going to be controversial for a moment. Not every library needs to own 50 Shades of Grey. Not every library should own it. A public library is not a repository for every book every written. Disregarding all the other aspects of libraries and focusing only on books, a library is to provide reading material for the community that it serves. Every library has a different collection because every community has different needs. A small library in the middle of nowhere New Hampshire will have a very different collection from the public libraries in Indianapolis.

Libraries have collection development guidelines that they follow. When a book comes out, the librarian reads what the book is about, reads reviews, takes a look to see if similar books get checked out currently, looks to see what books are requested from other libraries, etc. Than they decide if that book falls within the guidelines that the library has set for what books to buy. If a library has a policy in place that says that they do not buy books with explicit sexual material that could be categorized as erotica, than they probably should not buy 50 Shades of Grey as that would go against their policy. Now, the policy may be outdated and a discussion needs to happen about that, but that is not the issue at hand right now.

Now let's say that the library doesn't have a policy that says they don't buy erotica. So they buy 50 Shades of Grey. And some 200 people put a hold on it. And then someone gets offended and pulls the book. That is a problem. A librarians job is not to tell people what to read or not to read. A librarians job (in regards to collection development) is to provide books that the community they serve want to read. Obviously, people want to read 50 Shades of Grey. And not 20 people. Hundreds upon hundreds of people want to read it. Libraries are doing a real disservice to themselves by pulling or not stocking Grey. Pretty much on a daily basis you hear that libraries are outdated and dying, no one goes to the library, funding is being cut, etc. etc. etc. Here is a way to pull people in and get people using the library and librarians are worried that the sex might be too much for people and not letting them check it out. That is going to alienate their audience and further the perception that libraries are an outdated institution and are full of old maid librarians who are prudes.

And as for the arguments about "won't someone think of the children! They go to that library and could see that book"...are you shitting me? First of all, it isn't being shelved in the children's section. It is in the adult fiction section. And secondly, if a kid sees the cover, I'm fairly sure they won't be scarred for life as the cover has a tie on it. And that is it. If a kid goes and picks it up and flips through the find the good parts...well, their parent should probably keep a better eye on them. However, that is also not going to happen because all copies of the book are obviously out as there are hundreds of holds on it.

There are two libraries near me that I am a member of (because one public library is not enough!) and one of them owns a copy of 50 Shades of Grey and the other does not. Know why? Because one tends to buy a few romance novels and the other really doesn't. 50 Shades of Grey apparently has not been requested at one of the libraries. Not a big deal. It isn't like they are banning it or censoring. It just isn't the right book for that library.

So, let's all take a breather and summarize. First, erotica is not porn. Second, not every library needs to own 50 Shades of Grey. Third, not every library should own 50 Shades of Grey. Fourth, owning 50 Shades of Grey will not hurt anyone, including the children. Fifth, banning or censoring books because it has content that someone finds inappropriate is bad.

Now, can we move on to other topics and discuss books that are actually good and interesting...like The Grave series by Darynda Jones... fabulous books that are fun, exciting, funny, and contain enough sexual content to make prudish people blush! Exactly my favorite kind of book.

Midweek Mancandy: A Conversation about "The Avengers"

We here at Pop Tarts Central are big fans of awesome superhero movies and hot guys, so the release of "The Avengers" was like Christmas and our birthdays put together, with the addition of a bunch of extremely hot guys.

We had an online chat conversation about the guys one night, and we decided it would be a perfect format for this week's Mancandy offering. So here it is ... A Conversation about "The Avengers" Mancandy (edited for grammar, spelling and weird tangents).

Jen: So, there are so many hot guys in "The Avengers," though mom wanted to know why the girls had to wear skintight pants but the guys didn't.
Kel: The guys should wear skintight pants, or no pants.
Jen: Mark Ruffallo does not wear pants briefly, but you don't see anything vital.
Kel: Remember when we saw "The Hulk," the one with Eric Bana, and there was Eric Bana butt in it? Good times.
Jen: Dude, ok, the pants Chris Evans wore when he was not in his Captain America suit made his butt look amazing.
Kel: He just has a really great butt.

Photo here.

Jen: Who do you think is the hottest guy in "The Avengers?"
Kel: Thor. Chris Hemsworth. He's beefy.
Jen: I really have a soft spot for Jeremy Renner.
Kel: Oh, well, yeah, but he always looks like shit on the red carpet. This is weird. I like the super beefy big guy, and you like the thinner, prettier guy.
Jen: He's not pretty! Who are you looking at? He has an interesting face, and pretty large arms, at least in "The Avengers!"
Kel: Renner is a bit pretty. He looks like James McAvoy.
Jen: He's not pretty! You are weird. Chris Hemsworth is more pretty than Jeremy Renner.
Kel: Chris Hemsworth is built like a god.
Jen: He has pretty hair.
Kel: Yeah, but ... built like a tank.
Jen: True. Jeremy Renner is no lightweight though. He looks like it would hurt if he punched you in the face ... which he would do if you called him pretty.
Kel: I'm not saying he isn't hot. I love Renner. He is why i'm so excited about "The Bourne Legacy."

Photo here.

Photo here.

Jen: You know who was awesome in "The Avengers?" Mark Ruffalo. Best Bruce Banner yet.
Kel:  Ooo yay! I love Ruffalo. He shouldn't be as hot as I find him.
Jen: Right?
Kel: I think it is something about him being in "13 Going On 30."
Jen:  I'm always like, objectively, meh, but then you take it all together and it's like, yay! And "13 Going On 30" didn't hurt!
Kel: I think it is because he seems really nice. He is normal guy hot. As an actor ... bit meh. But if you saw him in line at Starbucks, you'd be like ... yeah.
Jen: Yep. I just really liked his mannerisms and stuff as Bruce Banner. It was believable. You can see that he's trying to hold in The Hulk.

 Photo here.

Jen: Can we just talk for a moment about how great Robert Downey Jr. is?
Kel: He is fantastic. He is fantasty. His swagger makes him hot. He's got attitude.
Jen: He's funny and sarcastic. What I love about Iron Man is how he's really jaunty and funny and sarcastic, but he's got a really dark side. He's very biting. And Captain America also has a bit of a dark side, but rather than joking, he just keeps doing what he's always done. They're both sort of sad and lonely but they play it out totally differently. And they're also both hot and have nice asses.
Kel: I was going to say, I haven't ever thought about them that hard. Mostly I go "Ooooo hot!"
Jen: I am a deep individual, dammit!

Photo here.

So that's our conversation ... the Mancandyish Men of "The Avengers." What do you think? Who is the hottest Avenger, and why? And is "The Avengers" possibly the most Mancandy-filled movie of all time?

High School Reading List: Swear Words and Sex

I haven't read Looking for Alaska by John Green (nor anything by John Green which really seems like a big oversight) so I can't outright comment on if there is a scene in it that is so inappropriate as to scar Sophomores in high school. Somehow, I doubt it. Sumner and Knox Counties in Tennessee have both pulled Looking for Alaska from required reading lists.

I'm not going to go into a long rant about why censorship is bad or why parents who try to police all kids and not just their own are out of line. What I'd like to discuss is a line from The Tennessean's report about the Sumner County removal. The school spokesman made a comment that a book by a "classic" author like Steinbeck or Hemingway is less likely to make parents uncomfortable if there is bad language and/or sexual descriptions, which is apparently what is so scarring about John Green (apparently Looking for Alaska has 281 inappropriate words in its 216 pages, which is 1.3 times per page...which really sounds about average for high schoolers).

I can't remember all of the books that were required reading in high school (fairly sure I blocked some out on purpose), but there are some that I do remember: Romeo & Juliet, Lord of the Flies, Invisible Man, Great Expectations, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, Streetcar Named Desire, Huckleberry Finn, The Sound and the Fury, Beloved, The Odyssey, The Yellow Wallpaper, Death of a Salesman, The Catcher in the Rye, The Crucible, The Grapes of Wrath, Our Town. And then there were books that were on a reading list that I did for some sort of project: Who's Afraid of Virginia Wolfe, Cold Sassy Tree, Treasure Island, Candide, The Magnificent Ambersons, Animal Farm.

I'm fairly sure that is not a comprehensive list because I'm sure we read more than 2 things Freshman year, but I have no idea what. And Sophomore and Junior year run together because I had the same teacher and sat in the same seat. However...the required readings...the trends I see are 1) "classics" and 2) pretty heavy stuff. Let's take something like Adventures of Huck Finn. That is not a particularly hard book to get through as it is fairly exciting what with all the action as it involves an escaped slave. However, it does use inappropriate language. Often. And to great effect. The N word is used to show the time but also to highlight the fact that it is inappropriate. We read parts of Huck Finn outloud in class. We were not allowed to skip words. My teacher used it as a teaching opportunity. Which is what a teacher does. Catcher in the Rye involves a scene with a prostitute. How is that more appropriate for teenagers to be reading than some bad language and an awkward oral sex scene? Or What about Streetcar Named Desire. The main character had an affair with a 17-year-old student of hers oh and also there is that whole rape thing. So rape is appropriate for teenagers to read but a consensual sex act isn't because the author is still alive? It doesn't make sense.

Part of growing up is learning what makes you uncomfortable and why. I tend to not get uncomfortable reading any sort of sex scene or anything with bad language. But reading about hateful violence really bothers me. Invisible Man really bothered me in parts. But that doesn't mean that I shouldn't have been required to read it. In fact, it means that I definitely should have had to read it. You can never grow if you only stay in your comfort zone. And when you are in high school and figuring out what you are is the prefect chance to explore things that are inappropriate and make you uncomfortable in a safe and structured environment. I very distinctly remember discussing Huck Finn in class in a very frank discussion. Because my teacher was awesome and understood the importance of Sophomores being able to discuss why the N word is bad and why slavery was wrong and why such violence happened.

I don't know what lessons Looking for Alaska is teaching. If the inappropriate sex scene is really that bad that it makes people uncomfortable...good! As I understand it, it is supposed to be awkward and unsexy. So why can't a teacher use that to open up a discussion on the subject? Maybe I lucked out with having an amazing English teacher for two years in a row (Mrs. Tubergen...you totally rocked!) but I always felt challenged and free to discuss anything in a book, no matter how "inappropriate". So can we stop with the "high schoolers can't read about sex without having it" and the "swear words are evil" and the "sex is only ok to read about once the book is a classic" because it is all bullshit. To paraphrase a quote I read by Maurice Sendak today...kids don't break that easily. They can handle a lot of grim stuff. so let's assume high schoolers can, too.

Dancing with the Stars: The Overly-Complicated-So-We-Can-Fill-Two-Hours-Instead-Of-Just-Making-The-Show-Shorter Edition

Jen and Kel are both blogging tonight. Double the snark, double the fun. The couples are dancing twice tonight, once in a single dance with their partner, and once with a third pro...which is hot if done right (see: Take the Lead ending tango here.)

Peta Murgatroyd and Donald Driver, Tango to "Higher Ground"
Kel's Take: Have we discussed that Peta tends to not wear makeup when she rehearses? That makes me so unbelievably happy because who wears makeup to work that hard? You go girl. You look hot when you are natural!

Dance: She is wearing a pleather skirt! And they are dancing to that song that is in Center Stage when they do the jazz class (see it here). Donald's frame is not great. He looks a bit slouchy to me. Also, I feel like I'm not really getting any real energy or passion. But that may have been because I was thinking too much about how much I love Center Stage instead of really focusing on the dance. Also...pleather skirt thing!

Jen's Take: I love their energy, not to mention Peta's pleather-and-gold skirt ensemble, but it's not a terribly flashy, exciting dance and I never really felt like it was fantastic.


Judges' Take: They loved it. Len called it a "knockout." They gave it 9s across the board. Total score: 27.

Derek Hough and Maria Menounos, Viennese Waltz to "A Thousand Years"
Kel's Take: I like Maria. I like that no matter how upset she gets, she tries to not let it all out. She doesn't whine or cry about it. There is no crying in ballroom.

Dance: Fog machine of death! I love this song! Her frame is lovely. A lot of the time in Viennese, the girl's job is to just hold frame and hold on. Or at least, that is how I usually dance Viennese. That dance didn't seem to have a lot to it. Or I was distracted again. I may be ADD tonight. But yeah, sure. It was fine. I definitely agree with Len that it should have had more content! I would have liked more hold. What up! Old school ballroom!

Jen's Take: Their best thing about watching Derek & Maria dance is their excellent chemistry. I feel like they want to be in each other's arms. The dance wasn't super flashy, but it was very fluid and flowing, and I appreciate that.

Judges' Take: Bruno and Carrie Ann really liked it, and responded to their fluidity and passion. They both gave them 10s. Len, however, thought she should be in hold a lot more, and scored them only an 8. Total score: 28.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Melissa Gilbert, Foxtrot to Maggie May
Kel's Take: And...Maks freakout! It has to happen every season. I like when Maks freaks out. He really puts everything into his dancing and is so passionate. And I feel like he comes across bad on camera sometimes. He gets along best with women who give him shit back...like Kirstie and Mel B.

Dance: Oh hey...dance! I was too busy writing about Maks to watch. He has nerd glasses on. He is like superman...fooling no one! Melissa is awfully sloppy. However the story is good. And her dress is two parts trashy and two parts awesome. Melissa has been improving every week and really seems to have relaxed so much since the first few weeks. I feel like in judging, Maks is still mad about last week. And probably the video package. Do you think he gets tired of the "Maks is a dick" edit every season. Why is it ok when Derek swears at Maria, but it isn't ok when Maks swears at Melissa?

Jen's Take: I just think Maks is so darn cute in his nerd glasses. I really am an unrepentant Maksim fangirl. He has a lot of personality. Anyway, the dance. Melissa had some glitches with her feet, and I still fee like she's holding on to Maks when they're dancing because it's too much for her, but she seemed to embrace that this week. It's a bit of a sloppy dance, but Melissa keeps improving.


Judges' Take: All three judges agreed it was her best dance so far, even with the mistakes. Carrie Ann also praised her for keeping her shoulders down. They all gave her 8s. Total score: 24.

Mark Ballas and Katherine Jenkins, Viennese Waltz to a generic slow song.
Kel's Take: I like that Katherine has no quit in her! Smacks her head on the floor, does the trick again.

Dance: She isn't really doing the footwork. She seems to be just sliding her feed on the floor during a good part of this dance. And you really have to pick up your feet in Viennese. Also, Mark looks like he just stepped off a production of Newsies. It was a fine dance. But again, nothing exciting. I just feel like Viennese and Quickstep don't translate on TV as well. Because I love Viennese Waltz. And I really love Quickstep. And of course Tango is great, but nothing has been exciting tonight.

Jen's Take: Again, it wasn't a thrilling dance! She is very in control and they're a cute couple, but they also suffer a bit because they're going right after Derek and Maria, who dance so well together. I did love the cool spinning trick, too - I'm impressed by things like that!

Judges' Take: They were all very impressed with her technique, and Len was thrilled that she actually danced Viennese Waltz in hold. Carrie Ann did point out some footing problems, and she gave them an 8. The guys gave them 9s. Total score: 26.


Chelsie Hightower and Roshon Fagen, Foxtrot to "Sweet Pea"
Kel's Take: Oh my gosh! Roshon's grandmothers are the most adorable things ever. They are so tiny! And they are giving him critiques! Oh come on! How can you not vote for that!

Dance: That is the look for him. Nerd adorable. I feel like he is slightly on top of the beat. Foxtrot needs to have some stretch to the slow steps. He seems to be rushing a bit. Again, it is like his energy just cannot be contained. And it just kinda spills out in the wrong place. And today instead of being flingy it was slightly rushed. However, it was cute and my favorite dance of the night so far.


Jen's Take: I am not a ballroom dance expert, so I'm not sure that the dance was actually Foxtrot all the time, but it was very cute and SO Broadway! Roshon should be in a Broadway show for sure! I loved this dance, and I agree with Kel that his grandmothers are adorable.


Judges' Take: They loved it. Len called them "two little dancing Munchkins" (in a good way), and Bruno said Roshon was like a young Mickey Rooney. Carrie Ann and Bruno gave them 10s, but Len spoiled the party with a 9. Total score: 29.


Cheryl Burke and William Levy, Foxtrot to "Stray Cat Strut"
Kel's Take: Dear William...I will never like you if you keep complaining about the rules of ballroom when you signed up for a ballroom show. Stop whining.

Dance: That is the best backdrop ever! Was it animated with people in a window? Or was that a shadow? Ok. So, this isn't bad. It is actually pretty fun and cute. But Foxtrot is a smooth dance. Which means it should be smooth. And William isn't smooth at all. Cheryl's dress is bananas! A fucking perfect score? Really? I think not.



Jen's Take: I still think William is boring and an asshole, but he danced pretty well. Part of it was just because I really love the song "Stray Cat Strut," actually. However, yes, decent dance with a pretty good strut to it, but I think William looked uncomfortable in his face.

Judges' Take: They piddled all over the ballroom in delight. Perfect 10s across the board. Total score: 30.

The Threesome Rounds!

Peta Murgatroyd and Donald Driver, with Karina, Jive to a 50s kind of song
Kel's Take: I have danced in a trio before. Not for competition, but I've done it. I think with ChaCha and Rhumba. I look forward to the craziness!

Dance: Donald brought the guns out! His arms are delicious. He isn't pointing his toes at all in his flicks and kicks. However, he has tons of energy and really looks like he is enjoying the hell out of himself. And that jump at the end made me give snaps up from my couch. You go Donald Driver! Technique problems aside, he brought it.

Jen's Take: Donald is hot. OK, sorry, I wasn't really paying attention - I was on the phone for most of this song - but what I saw had a lot of energy. And, I was thrilled to see Donald being light on his feet.

Judges' Take: I think they loved it, because the guys gave them 9s and Carrie Ann voted with her libido and gave them a 10. Total score: 28.

Derek Hough and Maria Menounos, with Henry, Samba to "Mama Do The Hump"
 Kel's Take: I approve of the choice of Henry. OMG accent. Mmmmm hot Australia. I'm concerned about the Bollywood thing.

Dance: OH MY GOD! They are using a Rizzle Kicks song! Best thing ever! I really really love this song. Wow...how much did I space out that dance. It was cute and energetic. But I didn't watch it really. I was distracted by the song. But it didn't seem to have much Samba in it. That seemed more like a finale freestyle round dance. Using Rizzle Kicks is almost as great as in the first week when someone danced to an Olly Murs song. UK Invasion! One last shoutout to Henry's abs!


Jen's Take: It definitely wasn't very samba, but it sure as hell was cute! I loved the Bollywood feel to it, and I loved the song, and I loved the energy, and I loved Maria's hips. What a cute dance!

Judges' Take: Bruno and Carrie Ann really liked it, although they commented that she lost the timing a couple of times. They gave them 9s. Len grumpily informed her that it had "no connection to samba," and threw up a 7. Total score: 25.

Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Melissa Gilbert, with Val, Samba to "Hard to Handle"
Kel's Take: Not to be inappropriate, but omg dream. Chmerkovskiy sandwich. And the boys doing samba together...so adorable.

Dance: Ok. I will tell you why that worked. First, it was a real Samba. It used all samba moves. It also utilized the two men. They really choreographed something that highlighted both men along with featuring Melissa. It also worked because Maks and Val learned from the same person so they have very similar style to their dance. So they worked really well together. And lastly it worked because Melissa went "yeah, I am dancing with Maks and Val, let's have some fun."


Jen's Take: OMG, Chmerkovskiy sandwich. As Melissa said, "There is nothing hotter than dancing with two Chmerkovskiys." Her dancing is pretty sassy, because I think she was just plain enjoying dancing with Maks and Val. I also just really enjoyed watching those two guys dance together.

Judges' Take: They loved it! 9s across the board! Total score: 27.

Mark Ballas and Katherine Jenkins, with Tristan, Chacha to "She's a Lady"
Kel's Take: I love Tristan! And I really really love that Katherine made fun of Mark's bizarre semi-British accent. Ha!

Dance: I love the theming. And the reveal of the outfit was nice. Even though it not going smoothly definitely threw Katherine off. I also feel like that worked more in theory than in practice. It seemed a bit hit or miss. It had some fun energy but then some simple basic. I think that she would have looked better had she not come right after Melissa and the Chmerkovskiys. But again...no quit in that girl!

Jen's Take: I really enjoyed the story of this dance. It was very cute. I wasn't blown away by the dancing, but I was happy that she didn't quit when the one leg of her pants stuck on her foot. Good on her! Overall, it wasn't super thrilling because she looked a little lame after the Chmerkovskiy awesomeness. Still, gotta love a fringe dress.

Judges' Take: Len thought it was clean and clear, and gave them a 9. Bruno found the dance sexy and cool, and Carrie Ann loved it, too. They both gave 10s. Total score: 29.

Chelsie Hightower and Roshon Fagen, with Sasha, Paso Doble to "Come On"
Kel's Take: Sasha is tiny! And adorable. Though is the entire troupe Australian?

Dance: Here is why this didn't work as a group dance. Because Sasha wasn't in it very much. You can't really have the contestant sit out part of the dance, but I feel like they didn't really utilize the concept. It was fine, but I just don't understand the point of it. However, Roshon definitely looked stronger this week.

Jen's Take: I loved the beginning of the dance, when Sasha and Roshon were circling each other, but then Sasha disappeared for too long. I liked Roshon's intensity, though, and he has really gotten his flingy arm craziness under control, which is a wonderful thing. He's still a little too wild, though.

Judges' Take: They all really enjoyed the dance, but remarked that Roshon did lose it just a little bit. Len said they were "like 2 skinny fries chasing the ketchup." Either our hearing is going, or Len is going insane. Or both. They all gave them 9s. Total score: 27.

Cheryl Burke and William Levy, with Tony, Paso Doble to a classical song
Kel's Take: Dance: It takes strong men to make magenta capes strong. I'm concerned about some of William's steps. He is a bit sloppy. He also had a bit of an issue staying with the music. Tony definitely won that dance. However, they did a better job with the three person Paso than Chelsie/Sasha/Roshon did. I liked the dance, but I'm still a bit meh on it. Also, I find William a bit boring.

Jen's Take: I love the whole dance fight concept, but I did think there wasn't enough Tony in the middle. It was a good dance with a great feel - I love classical music with paso - but it didn't totally trip my trigger.

Judges' Take: They loved it quite a bit, although Carrie Ann wanted William to have more arch and carry himself better. They all gave them 9s. Total score: 27.


Final Thoughts
Kel's Opinion: My favorite dance of the night by far was Melissa/Maks/Val. It was the best choreographed trio and was the most fun to watch. My second favorite was Donald/Peta/Karina. Also super fun and high energy. Third is a tie between Roshon and William's Foxtrots. 

Jen's Opinion: I really enjoyed both of Melissa and Maks' dances. Even though Melissa is still a smidge shaky, she's gotten better, and with her wonderfully hot partner(s), I think she's safe this week. However, two couples are going home this week, and I just really don't know who it will be. I am hoping for William, but the judges were so enthralled with him. I worry a bit about Roshon - even though he was adorable and danced really well, he hasn't been doing terribly well. In the end, it's going to be a tight race!

Find me Sci-Fi/Fantasy to read

Hi. I'm Kel. I'm a librarian, a nerd, and a geek. I enjoy nothing more than laying out in the sun with a good book to read. Really. I read all the time. Usually to the detriment of getting TV watched (No, Jen, I haven't watched Game of Thrones yet). I most enjoy reading genre fiction. Stuff that you would find as a paperback book. Nothing that would hit the Oprah book club. However, the one genre that I avoid like the plague is Sci-Fi/Fantasy (possibly two genres, but lumped together in the library therefore lumped together in my mind).

Now, to be fair, I haven't read much in the way of Sci-Fi or Fantasy. I really enjoyed Jumper/Reflex/Griffin's Story by Steven Gould. And I read and enjoyed the Hobbit and Fellowship of the Ring. But besides that, I can't really recall reading any SF/F. Like, at all. It isn't that I don't enjoy SF/F altogether. Because I love movies and tv shows that fall squarely into that category. But books...meh.

So...I have a task for you, dear reader. I want you to recommend to me a Sci-Fi or Fantasy book that I will enjoy. I have some criteria for what I enjoy in a book that I would like your recommendation to have if possible.

1) Strong female character(s). I prefer to read books where the main character is a strong, kick-ass, funny/sarcastic chick. It isn't a deal breaker if the main character is a guy or anything (I actually tend to really enjoy books that have two main characters: a guy and a girl), but there has to be at least one really awesome female character.

2) Nothing that will hurt to carry around in my purse. Not to be as whiny about it, but if I book is over, say, 700 pages I'm probably not going to finish it. And really, if the book is over 400 pages, it needs to be something on the level of Harry Potter in readability. I'm a slow enough reader that if a book is too long I forget what happened at the beginning (like when I read IT and had to keep flipping through the front of the book to remember who certain characters were).

3) Nothing super serious or depressing. Why do I read mostly romance novels and mysteries? Because they always have a happy ending. It stressed me out too much to have to worry about if my favorite character is going to die. And trust me...if one character dies in a book, it was probably my favorite character. I like happy endings. Though I am ok with dark books. Have you read Ted Dekker books? I like those! And Stephen King with his no one will live happily at all, if they do in fact live...I'm cool with those. I just don't want a book that is going to make me fall in love with a great character and then kill them *cough*gameofthrones*cough*.

4) Must have some humor. It doesn't have to be a comedy (do they make Sci-Fi comedy books?), but it needs to have something funny in it. A snarky side character. A cute dog that gets into trouble. A sarcastic narrator. Something to make me giggle out loud at least one.

5) I would prefer names that are not ridiculous. I get that for SF/F usually makes up names because it is set in some other world, but seriously. If the names and places are too ridiculous or I have to keep figuring out how to pronounce them, it really pulls me out of the story.

Now...tell me what to read. I'll take any suggestions and if I can find them in one of my libraries, I will give it a go (except Game of Thrones because...I really just don't want to and it annoys Jen that I won't read it). So...Sci-Fi/Fantasy nerds of the internet...tell me what to read!

Love at First Read

Do you ever have that feeling? You know the one. Where you just know that this is love. No, I'm not talking about love at first sight (What? Are you living in a romance novel?); I'm talking about love at first read. That most magical of experiences where you took a chance on a book and start reading it and just know that this is the book for you.

I was walking through the public library the other day not really looking to check out any fiction books (I have approximately 18000 books in my TBR pile) when I saw a new arrival that struck me. The cover had a woman (sans head [not like her head cut off...just the picture didn't go all the way to her head]) in a flowy red dress, red Chuck Taylors, and holding a scythe. Hello, perfect book cover for me! Also, the book was called "Third Grave Dead Ahead". So far we have a woman in a dress and Converse shoes, holding a weapon and the words grave and dead are in the title. We are right up my alley. So I take a closer look and alas, it is the third book of a series.

I ran back to the mystery section and low and behold, the library had books 1 and 2 (which is surprising as my library tends to have say...books 2-18, but not book 1, or books 1, 2, and 5). I grabbed book 1, First Grave on the Right (by Darynda Jones, who has the most amazing first name ever), which has a women's foot with the most amazing skull sandals that I hope are real, affordable, and at a store near me. The cover grabbed me, so I took a look at the inside cover, which I don't especially like to do with mysteries (part of the fun is trying to figure out who is going to get killed!). The book is about a woman who is the grim reaper, sees dead people, tries to get said dead people to go into the light, has erotic dreams that may or may not be completely dreams, and is being followed by some dark...thing. Yeah. Sold. I'm checking this book out.

Now, I've had the book sitting in my house since Saturday. I was not feeling any great pull to start reading it and was slightly hesitant to think I would actually like it since the blurb on the cover includes the word "heartfelt" which is one of the buzzwords that turns me off. However, I finished what I was reading last night and have been swinging slightly more toward mysteries instead of romance again, so I figured why not. I started reading it at lunch. From paragraph 1, I was in love. Dark stranger infiltrating dreams? Earth shattering orgasms mentioned in the 2nd sentence? Paragraph 2 including "creative employment of lederhosen"? Yes OMG YES PLEASE! This is my love. Love at first sight! Oh my gosh LOVE!

Now, to be fair, I have only read three chapters. Everything could fall apart after this. But at the moment, this is my book. It is so right up my alley. First, you have a strong, feisty, fun, funny protagonist who is a grim reaper. You have her uncle, who is a police detective who gets his "anonymous tips" for solving murders from her, who gets them from the victims themselves. You have the PI who has been told about her "gift" to see dead people but really doesn't believe her and as such, acts like a bit of an asshole. Which she accepts and just kind of deals with. I'm figuring there is going to be some love triangle type thing between hottie PI guy (Garrett), the grim reaper (Charley Davidson), and her nighttime dream dude, who is probably someone from her past who isn't quite human, but not dead either. And then on top of all that she is trying to solve the murder of three people who are following her around. And there is the intrigue of the blurry dark thing that she keeps seeing out of the corner of her eye. And to make everything better, the dialogue is like a Joss Whedon show...not really how people talk, but how everyone wishes they talk. So far, I am reminded of a mix between Dead Like Me and Stephanie Plum, but with a bit of Buffy thrown in, too. My biggest problem now is what I'm going to do in a week when I have finished all three books and have to wait until the Fall for the newest one to come out.