Midweek Macho Man: Joe Manganiello

"True Blood" started a new season on HBO this week, and although there are many macho men on the show, one of them really stands out.

(Photo from Entertainment Weekly, who also has many great articles, scoops and recaps about "True Blood." Check them out, yo!)

That's right! Our Midweek Macho Man is none other than Joe Manganiello, who plays Alcide Herveaux on "True Blood." Now, I have to admit that I've never even seen Joe Manganiello play Alcide, because I don't have HBO and my mom is still finishing season 3 of "True Blood" on DVD. (Hurry up, mom! I needs me a "True Blood" fix!) However, that has not stopped me from admiring Joe Manganiello, nor has it stopped me from imagining him as Alcide during my current re-read of the Sookie Stackhouse books. Kel and our mom assure me that he is incredibly hot in the show, and I believe them. (Mom even texted me, "Sam? Sam who?" Which is a big deal, because Sam Trammell, who plays Sam Merlotte, is super hot on the show. But Joe Manganiello leaves him in the dust, at least in my mom's eyes.)

If you're not a fan of "True Blood," you may also know Sam Manganiello as Flash Thompson from "Spider-man" and/or as Marshall's law school friend Brad on "How I Met Your Mother." But regardless of where you know him from, he is our Midweek Macho Man, and I salute him!

The Genius of Mel Brooks

It's Mel Brooks' birthday! The genius behind some of the very funniest movies on the planet is 85 years old today!

I have been a Mel Brooks fan since I was a kid, and my appreciation of his work has only increased as I've gotten older. My parents are huge fans of Brooks, and I remember watching "Young Frankenstein" and "Silent Movie" when I was pretty young. The first R-rated movie I ever saw was "Blazing Saddles" and, frankly, it's probably still the funniest R-rated movie I've ever seen. Even though I've seen it dozens of times, I still periodically pop it in the DVD player and laugh my ass off for two hours. It's my favorite Mel Brooks movie and one of my favorite movies ever.

I like the range of high-brow and low-brow humor in Brooks' movies. That's my favorite sort of comedy - slapstick and fart jokes mixed with biting satire - and that is exactly what Brooks does in his best movies. I mean, look at "Blazing Saddles." It attacks racism, much of the time while being shockingly politically incorrect. It also contains the most perfectly hilarious fart joke scene in cinematic history.

What Brooks does best, really, is spoofs. And that's hard to do. Most movie spoofs and parodies are super lame. But a number of Brooks' movies are spoofs, and many of them are good. Even the ones that aren't as good and focus more on the slapstick and straight parody and less on the satire and commentary ("Robin Hood: Men in Tights," "Spaceballs") are still pretty dang funny movies that I would watch any day of the week.

But one of his best movies is still "The Producers." Oh, the musical version starring Matthew Broderick and Nathan Lane is good, and I've seen a Broadway touring company perform it on stage, too, and had a great time watching it. But the original version of "The Producers," starring Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel, is Pure. Comedy. Gold. And then when I think of the fact that it was made in 1968, I marvel at the fact that anybody dared to release it. The idea of a movie about making a musical called "Springtime for Hitler" is teetering on the edge of good taste now, 66 years after Hitler died. Doing it 23 years after Hitler died is nothing short of ballsy. It shouldn't have worked, but Mel Brooks has such perfect comedic judgment that it did. If you've never seen the original "The Producers," do yourself a favor and watch it immediately.

In fact, if you're like a lot of people I know and you've only seen "Spaceballs" and "Robin Hood: Men in Tights," check out some of Mel Brooks' other works. Start with "Blazing Saddles." Watch "The Producers," and don't forget "Young Frankenstein." "History of the World: Part 1" is funny, too, though a bit disjointed. (You'll be singing about the Inquisition for days afterward, though.) Then check out some of Brooks' slightly more obscure works, like "Silent Movie" and "High Anxiety." In fact, watch one of them tonight, since it's his birthday and all.

Happy birthday, Mel Brooks, and thanks for all the laughs!

The Trashelorette: Tonight's Secret Word is "Bland!"

Kelly has returned to Trashelorette blogging, so you get a team recap! Huzzah!

To recap, Ashley is hung up on Bentley, even though he is literally the worst human being to ever be on this show (at least as far as we've seen). And...really, that is all you need to know.

Also to recap, the guys who are left are Sunshine (Ryan), Cupcake (JP), Harvard (Ames), Chef Mickey (Mickey), Constantine (Constantine), Wino (Ben), Bland Lucas (Lucas), and Listerine (Blake). (We literally spent 10 minutes trying to figure out who we were missing...couldn't remember Listerine. Because he's super boring. And then when they said something about "Blake," Jen couldn't even remember that there was ever a Blake on this show.)

Tonight, they're in Hong Kong, staying in a big, gorgeous product placement. But Ashley is troubled, because she's scared she'll never get over Bentley and never find her husband on a trashy reality show. *cue furrowed brow*

She talks to Chris Harrison, who says that he's afraid that when a guy is on one knee proposing, she'll be thinking "Hmmm, what if?" So, the producers went and got Bentley and brought him to Hong Kong to talk to Ashley. Ashley doesn't want vagueness in a relationship and doesn't want to force someone to love her. So she's going to go talk to Bentley. This should go well. But first she has to contemplate, in the world's most boring scene of a show ever.

And now she's going to talk to him because Ashley still thinks there might be "something there." Ah, so cute and flirty. Oh wait, no. It is fake. This is equal parts boring and fucking frustrating because they are boring people and Douchey McFuckface is an ass.
Sample dialogue:
"I had a really really hard time"--Ashley
"Was it fun?"--Asshat
Seriously. Fuck. Off. Ashley told Bentley that him leaving was especially hard and Bentley said good because it means they were on the same page. Bentley is stuttering and told Ashley that if the show doesn't work out, she should come to see him in Salt Lake. Bentley claims that he misses her and the show. "I think you know where I'm at and where I'm coming from," Bentley says. No. she doesn't. Because you keep lying. "It doesn't look good for me and you," he says. Finally, a bit of truth sneaking in. Ashley told Bentley to be a man. Did Ashley finally stand up for herself a bit? She gives him a hard time for coming to Hong Kong to say they are over instead of just calling. And now for the awkward silence.

Now we never have to think about Bentley anymore, right? Good. Onward with the show!

(Spoiler alert: we do have to think about Bentley again. Many times.)

Personally, we're thinking that Chris Harrison will tear Bentley apart at the reunion show. We're hoping that he literally will - like, hulk out and rip him limb from limb. We'd pay to see that.

OK, the first one-on-one date is with Bland Lucas. He's from the south! Apparently Texan! We had no idea! Also, he is interchangable with Listerine and Sunshine for Kel. Jen can tell Sunshine apart, but bland Lucas and Listerine are completely interchangeable.

Anyway, Bland Lucas and Ashley go off to wander the streets of Hong Kong. They look at the lights, some people in dragon costumes dance for them and they try some new food. And they take a nap. Oh wait, that was the viewers. But wait! The date's not over! Then, they go sailing around the harbor. Awww. We kinda like how wide-eyed Lucas is about everything. He seems like a genuinely decent guy. Boring, but nice. He wants to dance with her, kiss her (for the first time) and get a rose. Kel says, "Here's the thing with Lucas...if I worked with him, I would get along with him great. But I probably wouldn't want to be friends with him. He seems nice and normal and sweet and boring. Maybe he is just nervous about being on camera."

Bland Lucas gets a rose and a kiss, which he asked before giving to her. That is adorable and awesome. Now, does he get to dance? Yes. "There's something about his manlihood that makes me feel protected," Ashley said. Lucas' nickname is now Manlihood.

The second date is the group date with Sunshine, Chef Mickey, Constantine, Wino, Ames, and Listerine. And they are dragon boat racing. I don't care what it is, that is the most exciting sounding activity ever. Constantine and Wino, Harvard and Chef Mickey and Listerine and Sunshine are the teams. Which is funny, as Constantine and Wino are the same person and Listerine and Sunshine are the same person. This is like Amazing Race shit. Talk to people, get them to do weird things. The long-haired twins are not taking the race seriously. They get red robes to wear around, and they do a chant. Unfortunately, they thought their chant was saying "eat it," but they were actually chanting "idiot" in Chinese. Harvard/Chef Mickey are taking it too seriously. Harvard/Chef Mickey beat the blond twins. Which means...nothing! Seriously, they don't even get a prize or anything. Then somebody gets engaged on the beach, but it's not Ashley so who cares?

Now it's time for the boys to try to fight for a rose. Which really sounds like the lamest thing to fight for. Ames attacks Ashley's lips in the elevator. And she seems to be ok with that. Sure. He's hot and smart. We see nothing wrong with a little bit of hot smart macking. Here is our problem with all the guys on the show...they are all boring. Like, do any of them have hobbies? Or have friends? Or do anything besides work and date?

The guys want Ashley to see Ryan for who he really is. But at least from what they've shown, Sunshine is just kind of smiley and bland. Listerine thinks he and Sunshine have fundamental differences. And apparently Ashley can't see the rest of the guys when Sunshine is around. Are they editing him weird or are the boys crazy? And Sunshine gets the rose and said "shush." Adorable (and bland). I guess they just think Sunshine is cheesy. Or something. After Sunshine gets the rose, the guys are all like "Wah-wah" (sad trombone) and Chef Mickey starts pouting. So not becoming, man.

Cupcake gets the other one-on-one date. Cupcake is adorable, but Kel finds him cheesy. Jen likes him because she can tell him apart since he has a shaved head.

And can we just take a second to analyze that these people who are discussing marriage have only known each other for a few weeks? It all just seems really fast. All the marriage talk just seems a bit creepy with how fast it is. But maybe that is just us.

If you are bored with The Trashelorette, Kel has a game you can play. It is a drinking game. Every time Ashley says "Bentley", you get to take a drink. I would say take a shot, but we don't want death. Every time Ashley says that the Bentley situation is behind her, chug. Take a shot every time someone kisses Ashley. I recommend this game for a weekend and not a Monday night. Some time when you don't have to work the next day. Bonus game, take a shot everytime we use the word "bland" to describe one of the guys in the recap.

There was more to that date, but Kel started tuning it out, because she got distracted by her drinking game. But Jen was paying attention! Basically, Cupcake and Ashley moon over each other for a while. "She makes me feel alive," JP says. "I think it's meant to be." After Cupcake admits his biggest fear is loving someone and having it pulled away, Ashley admits that she met with Bentley in Hong Kong a couple days before. Cupcake says he's glad she told him, and wants her to tell him anything on her mind. He gets a rose and they mack on the top of the product placement.

Then, it's cocktail party time, and Ashley's tits are out! But the dress is cutting into them weird. Not a great look. Kel is distracted by her rack.

And more fucking Bentley talk. Ashley is telling all the guys about the Bentley situation. All the boys look pissed! Silence! Constantine thinks that Ashley is a hypocrite. Manlihood wants to know why she didn't find her closure before and finds it weird. Listerine said that her convo with Bentley must have gone poorly since she had fallen for him. Cupcake thinks the guys are overreacting. Sunshine also thinks the boys are overreacting. Manlihood, Constantine, Chef Mickey and Listerine are the most angry. Manlihood thinks that Ashley is wasting everyone's time. Harvard seems to be analyzing it all. Listerine makes the point of that they were just told, "Bentley was my first choice, but he took off, so I'll pick someone else". Constantine claims that he is done.

Listerine cops an attitude with Ashley and he's supposed to look like a jerk, but we really get where the guys are coming from. Kelly explains, "I mean, I get that the whole show is kinda like that. Here, fall for all these guys and pick one. But I think Ashley handled the whole Asshat situation badly. Also, Ashley, way to get Listerine to change his attitude with tears. Way to be a stereotype."

Chef Mickey says he feels like Ashley lied to the guys and he is now questioning why he's here. He thinks that if Ashley is that into a guy like Bentley, she needs to send him home. Oh wait, no. Chef Mickey is just leaving. And now Chef Mickey is our hero! We like that he felt like what Ashley was looking for wasn't him and he left. Ashley is "crying", but she doesn't appear to have any tears. Manipulation? Kel says she hates when women use tears to manipulate guys, and Jen agrees. And we hate that guys are manipulated into doing things with tears.

Ashley cries and cries and tells the guys she's sorry like 700 times. Jen is pretty sure she'd get defensive and scream at them all. This is why Jen did not meet her husband on a bad reality TV show.

OK, time to talk to Chris Harrison. He willing to tell Ashley how it is. He is a good host. Ashley says she didn't know the guys were going to be mad ... and cries some more! Cry cry cry.

Kel is going to make a prediction: Ashley is going to have a final two of Cupcake and Sunshine and is going to pick one of them and then is going to not end up with either. Kel doesn't think she will ultimately end up with any of these guys.

Someone else is going home tonight, besides Chef Mickey. Sunshine, Cupcake and Manlihood already had roses. The other ones who got roses are Wino, Constantine and Harvard, which means that we're saying goodbye to Listerine. Good. Kel was getting a douche vibe off of him, except that then she felt bad for calling him a douche when he said he wanted a friend. Kel says, "I'll be his friend. Well, first I'd have to meet him and see if he is nice. Seems a bit bland, but that could be editing."

Next week ... they're off to Taiwan. And we're off to the liquor store to buy alcoholic beverages so we can try Kel's drinking game. If we don't post next week, we probably got alcohol poisoning and died.

But before we go, Kel has some advice for Ashley: "Ashley, don't date guys for a TV show. I mean, really. This whole sending people home thing. Only for TV. In real life, you don't have to send someone home everytime Chris Harrison shows up. Just, make a few friends. You're from Maine, right? Go to Bangor or Portland and make some guy friends. You will have a much more calm life. Stay off reality TV!"

Super 8

I'm on a blogging role, so I am going to blog something that I was going to write about over the weekend.

I saw Super 8 and it was awesome! I went to the theatre to see either Pirates 4 or Super 8. When I got there, I made the snap decision to see Super 8 and I am so glad I did. Instead of recap/review, I'm just going to tell you my favorite things about it.

1) The relationship of the main kids. I loved that the kids seemed like real friends. Joe, the main kid, and Charles, his best friend, especially were awesome together. They fight and hang out and do a ton of silly things and yell at each other. They act like real friends. I truly believe that those kids could be best friends in real life.

2) The way the kids talk over each other. This is related to the first one. But I loved how all the kids talked and yelled over one another. Pretty much anytime they were all on screen, they were talking or yelling over and at one another. Which is exactly how kids interact. It just never ceased to amuse me.

3) The cute romance. I don't usually care about the romance in a thriller, but I liked the cute little romance. It felt real and age appropriate. And caused some drama in the friend group. All good things.

4) The kid who loved explosions. That kid cracked me up. He had floppy hair and braces and liked to make things explode.

5) The zombie movie at the end. That thing was genius. I would have watched a full length version of that. It was nicely b-movie quality, but still good. It had better special effects than an Ed Wood movie. I really mostly liked that it looked like someone kids would have made.

Overall, what I liked most about Super 8 was how real it seemed. It was very realistic, except for the fact that there was an alien. Fun.

Anyway...short blog because it is nearly 10:30pm and I need to sleep. I will blog more soon (I promise).

"The Hobbit" pictures released, preciousssssssssss

Oh hobbitses, Entertainment Weekly has released three pictures from the set of "The Hobbit," and they are preciousssss! As in, I want to keep them for my own and spend lots of time looking at them until I waste away into a skinny, dirty creature wearing a loincloth, gollum gollum.

The pictures are here. The first one shows Bilbo Baggins (greatest little hobbit of them all, played by Martin Freeman) looking at a long piece of paper while dwarves sit at his kitchen table. The second shows Gandalf the Grey (Ian McKellen) lounging around smoking pipeweed and looking like a badass. The third shows Martin Freeman talking to director Peter Jackson.

The first half of "The Hobbit" saga comes out December 14, 2012 - only 540 more days! How will we make it that long? I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE IT!

Seriously, though, I am super excited about "The Hobbit" - it's one of my all-time favorite books - and I am thrilled that Peter Jackson will be giving "The Hobbit" the big-screen treatment, since he brought "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy to life. But I have to admit that I am just a teensy-weensy bit nervous that "The Hobbit" is not going to be quite as awesome as it could be. I sort of worry that it will suffer from the same thing that the LOTR trilogy suffered from - too many lingering shots, too much slow-mo, too many ethereal shot of pretty elves and just a slight bit of dragging that happened at times. I applaud Jackson for taking out things that would have slowed the movie down (though seeing Tom Bombadil on the big screen would have been awesome because Tom Bombadil is the shit!) but a few scenes got a bit too overwrought in the trilogy, I noticed when I recently rewatched the movies. It's not that LOTR isn't made up of three of my favorite movies of ALL TIME, because it is, but oof, I think "The Hobbit" is a bit of a lighter tale and I hope it doesn't get too heavy and serious in Jackson's hands. Peter Jackson, I know you can be super hilariously fun - I've seen your early, goofy films. Don't forget the levity in "The Hobbit," PLEASE!

Other than that, I am pee-my-pants excited about this movie and I look forward to seeing more photos and hearing more about it and generally just overdosing on information about it until I whip myself into a J.R.R. Tolkein frenzy that culminates in dressing up like a hobbit and seeing the movie while dressed as a hobbit as many times as the movie theater will allow before they call the authorities. Not that that's happened before. OK, just that one time. Don't judge, y'all.

Midweek Macho Man: Ryan Reynolds

This is a new feature I'm starting, because by Wednesday every girl needs a pick-me-up. And what better way to have a pick-me-up than to feature a good-looking guy on our blog every Wednesday? But not just any hot guy will be featured. I'm going to try to feature a guy who is in the news for some reason - a movie, a TV show, a news story, etc.

This week's Macho Man is featured in a movie that just came out this week. It hasn't gotten very good reviews, unfortunately, but this Macho Man looks great in every scene he's in ... especially because he's often wearing a skintight superhero suit.

That's right ... the Midweek Macho Man this week is Ryan Reynolds!

(Photo from Entertainment Weekly. Original and more Ryan Reynolds photos can be found here. EW rocks, so go visit their site, y'all.)

Ryan Reynolds has been in a lot of movies. Personally, I really took notice of him back in 2009, somewhat when he played Wade Wilson in "X-Men Origin: Wolverine" (though Hugh Jackman was a huge distraction in that movie) and when he played the main guy in "The Proposal," which quickly became one of my favorite chick flicks of all time. (And I am so not really a chick flick girl.) But he was in many other goofy movies and TV shows, including the movie "Van Wilder" and the TV show "Two Guys and a Girl." He was named People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive in 2010 - a worthy honor - and is generally adorable and fun to watch in movies. I think what I like so much about Ryan Reynolds is that he obviously doesn't take himself too seriously. It was obvious that he was having a great time when he made "Green Lantern" and, really, it's just nice to watch an actor who is having fun instead of being a humorless ass all the time. He seems likable in interviews and in movies, and I will go see just about anything he's in. Incidentally, so will my mom, and my grandma also loved him in "The Proposal," which means Ryan Reynolds also has appeal across generations ... always an important thing for a movie hunk!

Ryan Reynolds ... we salute you, our Midweek Macho Man!

The Trashelorette: Ashley's Still A Moron

OK, after watching yet another two-hour epic episode of "The Bachelorette," I have to say it. Ashley is a completely idiot. Not only is she still completely stuck on Mr. Douchehat, but she also comes up with a group date idea that makes the ill-fated roast look like a fun day on the beach.

The Trashelorette and her entourage of lovesick puppies are once again "flying all around the world for love," as Sunshine (Ryan) put it. This time, they're off to the north of Thailand, to Chiang Mai. There are only 11 guys left ... and only one gets the "prize" of being Ashley's husband. After tonight, I'm positive this is not much of a prize.

Tonight, there will be a one-on-one date, a group date and a two-on-one date, aka The Thunderdome Date. You know - two men enter, one man leaves. How awkward! Does anybody really think this is a good way to find a mate? Ashley is excited because she wants to have her "new beginning" after Shitface Douchebag.

Anyway, first up is the one-on-one date with Ashley and Wino (Ben F.). Ashley explains that she picked Wino because she sees mutual attraction but it "hasn't been focused," and she's not sure that he's ready to allow somebody into his life. Wino says he's working on wooing Ashley with "slow, gradual steps" to build on a foundation on love.

The date is quite possibly the most boring things I've ever watched, and that's saying something, considering how many boring movies I've watched. (Three words: "Monster A GoGo." Not even Mystery Science Theater 3000 could save that pile of cinematic shit.) Anyway, they go on a rickshaw thing to the market because Ashley wants to balance new experiences with normal things. They make googly eyes at each other while shopping, painting parasols and sitting by ancient ruins. They want to kiss, but they just can't, dammit!, because they're at the temple and it's sacrilegious. They "mental kiss" instead, which is just awkward. They have a romantic outdoor dinner and she giggles like an imbecile when she reveals it to him. They discuss that Wino is not emotionally available because he misses his dad, who died 4 1/2 years ago, which is weird, right? I would miss my mom or dad if they died, but to have it hinder your dating life for almost five years? That screams, "I NEED A FULL MENTAL HEALTH EVALUATION!" They blather on for a while and then kiss amid a bunch of fire dancers. They say "passion." I say "zzzzz."

Now, it's time for the group date. The lucky men chosen for the group date are Constantine, Ames, Lucas (Nick), Listerine (Blake), Bland Lucas (Lucas), Sunshine (Ryan), Cupcake (JP) and Chef Mickey (Mickey).

Now, if you were in Thailand with a group of eight guys who you like and want to learn more about, what would you do with them? If you answered, "Have them beat the everloving shit out of each other using the ancient noble art of Muay Thai boxing," then, well, you must be Ashley because nobody in their right mind would think this is a good idea.

First, the guys train on Muay Thai boxing techniques. Muay Thai is basically kickboxing, so in addition to pummeling each other in the head with their fists, they can also kick each other repeatedly. Now, I will give Ashley props for getting the guys shirtless because, yum, but after a few hours of training, they fight each other. Seriously. They are going to hit each other repeatedly in front of Ashley. Caveman much?

First match is Listerine vs. Bland Lucas. "Don't take it too seriously!" Ashley calls as they climb into the ring. Ummm, honey, they're guys. They have testosterone. The majority of them are going to fight, and fight hard. Listerine wins. "I'm beginning to think this date is a bit too dangerous. I don't want anybody to get hurt!" Ashley cries. Well, then, don't force them to get into a boxing ring in Thailand and beat the snot out of each other.

Next up is Cupcake vs. Chef Mickey. Initially Chef Mickey is soundly kicking Cupcake's ass, but Cupcake ends up pulling out a victory. Ashley cringes some more.

Then it's Ames vs. Sunshine, and let's just say that Ames got his ass handed to him on a platter. It's not Ames' fault. He's a lover, not a fighter. His names is Ames, fer cryin' out loud! A guy named Ames doesn't fight! After getting knocked in the head a few times by Sunshine, Ames loses and, clearly, that boy ain't right. His eyes are all glassy and his expression is more vacant than normal, and Ashley is freaking out. Constantine and Lucas fight but nobody gives a flying rat's patooty because Ames clearly has brain damage from his time in the ring. He goes off to a Thai hospital in an ambulance, and Ashley says, "I had no idea it would go this far, especially for Ames." *facepalm*

They have a party that night, but everyone is still worried about Ames. "I had no idea this was going to be such a bloody fight." Yes. You have them engage in a violent boxing match and have no idea it's going to be bloody! Ashley. You are not bright.

Ames finally gets there, but he's still having trouble forming coherent sentences. I hope he doesn't have permanent brain damage because the guys on this show don't have much brain to spare.

Listerine corrals Ashley and tells her he "doesn't trust relationships that are hot out of the gate," which makes Ashley think of Fuckface for the bazillionth time this episode. He also says that he wants reassurance/positive reinforcement because he hasn't spent much time with Ashley. Then Bland Lucas teaches her a golf stance, which made her "pretty turned on." If that's what it takes to turn her on then, well, good for her. Nothing about Bland Lucas is remotely erotic. He's just bland. Ashley also says she is initially attracted to people like Bentley, but is not sure her initial instinct serves her in the long run. NO SHIT, SHERLOCK! First Brad Womack, now Bentley? Bad. Taste. In. Men. Anyway, she gives Blake the rose as reassurance that she likes him.

Now it's time for The Thunderdome Date. It's Captain Dingdong and Bland Ben! I have trouble telling them apart except for the fact that they're wearing different color shirts. Thank goodness. They go for a cruise down the river on a boat, with Captain Dingdong and Bland Ben steering the boat. Captain Dingdong decides to "make a move" and, in a private moment, "doesn't throw the guy under the bus or anything" but tells Ashley that Bland Ben is "ready to go home" and has talked about getting on dating websites. This hits Ashley where hurts, because she's insecure that the guys don't like her. So she ends The Thunderdome Portion Of The Date and sends Bland Ben home. Bland Ben says it's not the case, because he's serious about her. Whatever. He's bland. She just can't risk keeping people around if they don't feel strongly for her.

So now it's a one-on-one date with Ashley and Captain Dingdong. She's looking for the sparks from the first date to fly again, but she just doesn't feel those sparks. So, Captain Dingdong is gone too! Whoa. TWO MEN ENTER! TWO MEN LEAVE!

Then it's cocktail party time. They take turns talking to Ashley, who says that she wants them all to be honest because she wants to spend time with them. So they all suck up to her for a while, and then it's time for her to talk to Chris Harrison. She tells him that she feels like things have been getting better, but she's still hung up on Assy McFucknuts. I'm not normally a proponent of violence, especially against women by men, but Chris really needs to slap Ashley across her stupid face. Chris tells her that she's not being fair to the guys because she's kind of moving forward, but she's kind of not. Ashley says she wants to talk to the stupid dumbass and ask him a few questions, and Chris reluctantly says he'll "do everything" to make something happen for her.

Then it's rose ceremony time. Wino and Listerine are safe, and only one other guy is going home. Ashley says she's been learning about "honesty" this week, which made me think of Sesame Street for some reason. Also safe are Constantine, Bland Lucas, Cupcake, Ames, Chef Mickey and Sunshine. So going home is Lucas (real name Nick), which I could not pick out of a lineup, so I am definitely not crushed to see him go. He's sad because he felt strongly about Ashley.

Next week ... the trip of love continues in Hong Kong, and we get to see the idiotic stupid face of Asshat McGee once more. I can only hope that someone kicks him square in the nuts so hard that he never finds his balls again. Repeatedly.

Game of Thrones fans: Five Reasons to Get. Over. It.

OK, so first of all, I don't watch "Game of Thrones," so maybe all you "Game of Thrones" fans who are freaking the crap out over a character death have a valid reason. But my guess is no, you're just acting like a bunch of petulant fanboys and fangirls and you just need to Get. Over. It.

I've watched a lot of TV shows in my time, many of which have made decisions, such as killing characters, that I frankly thought sucked. Books too - there is one death in the Harry Potter books that absolutely kills me EVERY SINGLE TIME I READ THE BOOKS.

I could understand being a little bit upset if the writers, who I understand are following the book very closely, suddenly veered off in a weird direction and killed someone who lived in the book. But from what I understand, that isn't what happened. And even so, I could launch into a finger-shaking lecture about how books and TV and movies are different media and they don't flow the same so writers have to change things to make the story flow right. But this death apparently is a plot point in the novel too. If they would have changed it, it would have had a chain reaction effect that would have taken over the whole show oh no!!!!!!

But regardless of the circumstances, people just need to not have a giant freakout over things like a character death on a TV show. (I'm not saying not to cry at a character death or other dramatic part of a story, because I cry at almost everything. But I'm saying don't take to the Internet and whine about it and threaten not to watch the show anymore.) And here are five reasons why not to freak out!

1. They're not your characters. As much as you might love a character in a TV show (or a book or a movie or a video game), it's not up to you to dictate his or her fate. That is up to the writer. It's their character, and they can do whatever they want with them. If you want to dictate the fate of a character, write your own story.
2. Death is inevitable. People die in real life, so for any semblance of realism in fiction, people sometimes have to die. And sometimes it's the person you really like, because everyone you like in real life will die eventually.
   
3. Getting upset about a death means the writer is doing his or her job. If the writer sucked, you wouldn't care about the character, right? Since you do, it's obviously a well-written show. Even though you're upset about the death, be glad that someone has come up with something that affects you so deeply.
4. They're not real people. It should go without saying, but sometimes I wonder if people who get so upset over a character death really understand this point. I'm pretty sure some of them don't.
5. It's super lame. Seriously. If you're irrationally upset over the death of a character - if you cry for more than a couple of minutes after it happens, or you want to take to the internet and threaten never to watch the show again - you probably need a complete mental health evaluation. Or a hobby.
   

What I've Been Doing With My Time

I haven't been blogging much, lately. Partly due to a general laziness that has taken over my non-work time, partly due to being on vacation a few different times, and partly due to really just not feeling inspired to write. However, I feel now is the time to get back into blogging! And to start off, I'm going to give a bit of a recap of what I'm watching, reading, etc.

First for tv...
My USA shows are back! Well, a couple of them are, anyway. White Collar and Covert Affairs both started last week and both were amazing. I say amazing mostly because I have missed both shows a whole lot and love watching them so them just being on is amazing. White Collar is quite possibly my favorite scripted show on television. An FBI agent and an ex-con man (who isn't always so ex) team up to fight white collar criminals. Obviously, they don't really ever trust each other fully, but they do have mutual respect and love for each other. Their relationship is one of my favorites for any tv show ever. I'm also a huge Cover Affairs fan! CIA agents doing CIA things. Starring Piper Perabo (Coyote Ugly) and Christopher Gorham (Ugly Betty). Awesome. It has lots of action and really good people in it and all sorts of fun. The only sad thing about this summer is that Psych doesn't have a summer season. It is airing in the fall, which, awesome they are a legit show with a normal season, but bummer because I could watch Psych year round. In fact, I have been watching past seasons of Psych on dvd.

Pretty much the only other tv I have been watching is reality tv. I watched America's Best Dance Crew (so full of awesome that I may get around and actually write a post about it) and am currently watching The Bachelorette (you've seen our recaps of Trashelorette, right?), So You Think You Can Dance, Next Food Network Star, Chopped, and Top Chef Masters. I love all cooking competition shows, so Star, Chopped, and Top Chef are always high on my list of loves, though I tend to save a few episodes and watch all at once. Mostly because they air late at night and I like gorging on tv shows all at once. I'm having serious issues staying up with Trashelorette because it is sooooo bad. I skipped this past episode in favorite of watching Doctor Who. Best decision ever. But I'll catch up.

Speaking of...I'm watching Doctor Who, series 6. I am not listing it in with my normal tv because I don't get BBC America and had to buy them on Amazon, so I waited and bought all 7 episodes that have aired so far and watched 4 of them last night. Gluten! Sooooo great. I suppose I'm also technically watching Game of Thrones with my friend Sarah, though we are about 5 episodes behind. Sunday night shows are hard to watch, especially with someone else. But I'll get there, I'm sure.

Now for books, I've been reading stuff sporatically. I am currently reading a few different books, all of which I am really enjoying. First, I have been reading the 1-800-Where-R-You series by Meg Cabot. I actually read the first two books at Christmas time and have finally gotten around to reading the last three. It is a really good series, though not my favorite. I like the main heroine a lot, but I'm kind of meh on the dude. But it is pretty much set in Bloomington, IN where I went to school, so that is fun. Also, I just like Cabot's writing, so I like it. Good to read before bed as the other books I'm reading are not.

I'm also reading Between the Bridge and the River by Craig Ferguson. Oh man. I bought it because I love Craig Ferguson. And I was expecting a funny little fluff novel. And oh my, it is not that at all. But it is soooooo great. It is funny, don't get my wrong, but it is also dark and crazy and full of sex and drugs and death and magic and religion. It is super indepth and far too hard to read at night before bed. But I am loving it so much. I am thinking of creating a new category of novel to read called something like "Novels By People Not Normally Thought Of As Authors" because I am getting quite a collection, most notably Craig Ferguson, Stephen Fry, and Dave Barry.

The last book that I am reading is My Booky Wook by Russell Brand. It is his first autobiography. And it is super fascinating. I already know quite a bit about Brand as he had quite a high profile life in the UK back when he was first becoming famous. My Booky Wook starts with him in Sex Rehab and then goes into early life. I assume it will end in Sex Rehab. But yeah...super fascinating to see how his brain works and how his early life shaped who he is. Also, it is definitely written in his voice and not in any sort of corrected grammer way. I like it. I also know that I will definitely have to get his second autobiography when I am done.

I know that I read some other stuff, but nothing too notable. Mostly romance novels and mysteries. Basic fare; nothing too out there.

And finally, movies and music. I have watched very few movies lately, though I've seen Bridesmaids and X-Men: First Class in theaters. Both were fabulous and you should go see them both. Good stories, good actors, each had an actor that I have serious love for (Chris O'Dowd in Bridesmaids, James McAvoy in X-Men). Good times all around. I've been listening to a lot of random music lately, though my favorite at the moment is Adele. Look her up if you don't know her. And if you only know her radio singles, look up other tracks. She is fucking brilliant. Like, ridiculously awesome. I've also been enjoying Hot Chelle Rae, McFly, Patrick Wolf, Lily Allen, James Blunt, Maroon 5, Tinie Tempah, Mumford & Son, and countless other artists and bands. Really random music. I should make a playlist!

So...really blogging coming soon! Perhaps with some regularity! One can always dream.

The Trashelorette: Phuket! Why are they still talking about Bentley?

We may have finally ridded our televisions of Bentley last week, but the Ghost of Douchey Game Show Contestants Past still followed our simple-country-girl-turned-Bachelorette.

After a strict lecture about being serious about Ashley and this show, Chris Harrison whisked the remaining 12 guys off to Phuket, Thailand.

Ashley is "so excited" about going to Thailand, but she is still "holding on" to her relationship with Bentley and "just can't forget about it." I wish they would just break the Bachelorette rules and show her all the footage of Loserface saying terrible things about her. Of course, she'd probably just say that his words were misconstrued or something.

Anyway, after the guys get settled in at the bachelor beach house, Ashley sends a card inviting Constantine on a one-on-one date. Nick (AKA Lucas) is bummed, and hopes for some rain.
Well, Lucas must be made of magic, because IT RAINS ON CONSTANTINE'S PARADE! They aren't able to go on a boat to a private island like Ashley planned because of the rain that Lucas MAGICALLY CONJURED, so instead the pair goes shopping. When they get to the market, Ashley shrieks about how cute everything is. I swear, every other word out of this woman's mouth is "cute!" How about buying her a thesaurus at the market? They also get advice from a wizened and, presumably, cute old shopkeeper to not try to win arguments.

Meanwhile, she invites Ben C. (Bland Ben), JP (Cupcake), Ryan (Sunshine), West (West), Mickey (Chef Mickey), Ben F. (Wino), Blake (Listerine), Nick (Lucas), Lucas (Bland Lucas) and William (Captain DingDong) on a group date, leaving Ames (Ames) on his own. He hopes this means that he gets a one-on-one date with Ashley.

Back on their date, Ashley whines that she still misses Douchebag McAsshat even though she has chemistry with the infinitely hotter and less deplorable Constantine. They talk for a while (a loooooooong while) while drinking wine while lounging on a bed on the beach before she finally gives him a rose. She feels "hopeful" again. He wants to "grow the connection we've started."

The next day, the guys gather for their group date. It's raining again. Why did they decide to film a reality show in Thailand during the rainy season? I can understand if it were "Survivor," but on "The Bachelorette" everybody is supposed to have perfect hair along with their perfect teeth and bodies. How can they do that when it rains!?

Anyway, they're at the Baan San Fan orphanage, and during their group date the boys and Ashley are going to paint, put up soccer nets and generally help out with making the orphanage look good. Given her previous dates, I'm surprised they're not picking out their first child together. Whoever picks the same as Ashley gets a rose!

Seriously, though, it's a nice idea, and many of the guys, especially Cupcake, seem pretty sincerely excited about helping out. He even says later that he's "forever changed. " I am pretty sure he is too good to be on this stupid show. Sunshine is also very sincerely excited, apparently, to the point where the other guys are super annoyed by him. They accuse him of trying to get Ashley's attention and trying to be a leader too much. "It's too much!" they whine. Wino, meanwhile, paints a mural "even though I can't paint." It's actually pretty decent. It was worth it, too, because Wino ends up getting the rose ... after an unremarkable cocktail party during which the guys bitch about Sunshine some more. Dudes, he's Sunshine! He's just happy! Get over it!
Now it's time for Ames' date, and he's excited because he's never had a one-on-one date with Ashley. She's excited to get to know him. They go off on a boat, and Ashley remarks that she feels "like we're on the Titanic or something." Umm, honey, you did see the movie, right? You know the boat sinks and everybody dies? Anyway, then they go kayaking through caves in the rain, and Ames waxes poetic about how the caves are like a relationship: "Around every corner, you really don't know what to expect." Snort.

They talk some more over dinner, and Ashley reveals that she wants to raise her children in a bigger city and travel so that they are exposed to more than she was exposed to when she was a kid. Does that include exposing them to reality TV cameras? I wouldn't be surprised. Anyway, they talk more and she eventually decides to give Ames the rose.

Finally, it's cocktail party time. Ashley is concerned about West, because his wife is dead and she's not sure that he's ready. He says he is ready to move on and has taken time for himself. She's also worried about Bland Lucas, who was divorced. He admits he still cares for his ex-wife because he loved her, but is ready for a relationship too. He also makes her feel "hopeful" that the guys are there for her.

Since Batman is gone, the guys take out their anger/rage/cattiness on Sunshine. They think Ashley's aware enough to figure out that something's up. Except, there is nothing up with Sunshine. He's grating on everyone, but I'm not really sure why. "Intensity," they say. They think he's too intensely happy and gung-ho about things, and that the things he says feel disingenuous. Ridiculous. Ryan also thinks it's silly, and says, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm not grumpy. My bad. I guess I should be grumpy. Though it has been raining a lot. Maybe I should be grumpy." He also says they should always feel happy because they're not in a war zone like other people. Nothing is going to rain on Sunshine's sunny personality, not even the rain! Ashley even asks him about it. He doesn't know where it comes from, but it's the "real me." Sunshine really is the perfect name for him.

During their sitdown, Ashley tells Chris that she was blown away by Ames and by the group date, but she is still "a little hung up on" on Asshole Poopyface Douchenozzle. She wonders what could have been and "feels like there's something more there" because of her fabulous woman's intuition. Hey girl, don't go dragging our gender into this. Chris should have just smacked her right across her stupid face at this point. Instead, Chris agrees to her request that she give out 11 roses and only send one poor schmuck home. There are 11 guys she could see herself marrying. I don't think that in my entire life of dating I've had 11 different guys who I seriously thought I could marry, and that includes the celebrities I fantasized about marrying when I was in middle school.

So ... Constatine, Ames and Wino have roses already. The other guys who get roses are: Bland Lucas (who calls her "sweety"), Sunshine (suck it!), Cupcake (still my favorite!), Lucas (who is almost as bland as Bland Lucas but has more interesting hair), Chef Mickey, Listerine (who I always forget about), Captain DingDong and Bland Ben.

Which means that West is going home. Appropriate for the week they went east. He misses his late wife and thinks that Ashley was probably afraid to fill her shoes, but he says he was really ready to move on. Move on, West! Go find love like a normal person!

Next week ... they go to Chiang Mai. Ashley continues her great ideas for dates by having the guys punch each other until one has to go to the hospital. And Douchehat Assface Craphole makes a return, apparently. Let's hope Chris Harrison kicks him square in the nuts.

The Trashelorette: More. Freaking. Crying.

Tonight! On "The Bachelorette!" MORE CRYING! Seriously. We are tired of all the crying. Especially Ashley. But also some of the guys. Sigh. Let's get it started.

First up ... the one-on-one date! Ashley chose Ben C., the lawyer from New Orleans. He kind of reminds Kel of a puppy. In his confessional, he says that he wants to dance. And then ... THEY LEARN A DANCE! Because they are going to be part of a flashmob, but Ben doesn't know. Because Ashley likes to torture the guys. Too bad their dance is dirty. There is one point where it really looks like they're going "wank, wank, wank, ORGASM!" Anyway ... they have some food and then Ashley says, "Hey, let's do our dance. Nobody will ever notice!" and strokes her evil invisible goatee. Then, "Like a G6" starts playing and suddenly there's a flashmob. OH MY GOSH SOME DIVERSITY! Ben is really trying to dance well, although he totally dances like a white boy with the white man's overbite, which is awkward when Ashley tries to dirty dance all up on him. Far East Movement plays, too - they're really too cool for his show.

At dinner that night, Ashley says that it's a "pretty over-the-top day," which would be more interesting if Ashley hadn't PLANNED THE WHOLE THING! Anyway, they talk over dinner and Ben talks about the princess movie life he wants. He also talks really fast and says he wants to "literally blow up the roof." We are pretty sure he wants to "figuratively blow the roof off." He blows Ashley's mind, but not in the way that he blows our minds.

They get a group date together with Ames, Wino (Ben), Listerine (Blake), Batman (Jeff), Lucas, Sunshine (Ryan), Captain DingDong (William), Douchey Asshat (Bentley), Nick and the guy who read the card, who is apparently named Chris D. but we literally have never seen him on the show ever. The clue says that they "need to make her laugh."

Back to Ben's date. He is still talking about his princess movie life. He shall therefore be known as Princess. He got a rose! What a surprise! Ashley says, "When I love, I love hard." That's what she said. Obvs.

They talk to Batman for a while, but we are not sure what they said because he wears a mask and they play really fun movie. He decides to talk to Ashley and take off his mask, then say, "Hi. I'm Jeff." Worst. Opening. Line. Ever. "I'm glad he finally took it off," Ashley said. That's what she said! Ashley also says that he is a lot older than she thought he was. They also start showing a strange couple of shots of a hawk and a squirrel. Not sure what that is about. Is Batman the hawk? The squirrel? Is Ashley in this metaphor?

The group date is a roast of Ashley! This is a very, very bad plan. Are you stupid, Ashley? Let's have the guys stand up and make fun of you in front of a packed house! Jeffrey Ross, a comedian, talks to the guys and tells them, "If you can make a woman laugh at herself, you can make her do anything." Incorrect.

We are still having trouble with remembering who is who. Kel was pretty sure that Lucas had longish hair, but it was Nick all along! Captain DingDong says that he is going to use this as a jumping off point for his future of being a comedian. Oh, how wrong he was.

Most of the comedians-to-be were super bland and mainly roasted the other guys. Lucas was bland. Sunshine tried to insult Bentley but it didn't work. Listerine was funny. Jeffrey Ross called Batman "Zorro's unemployed brother," which was really pretty funny. Then he came up and talked about how Ashley has small boobies. Poor Ashley. Wino's confessional about Batman's roast was the funniest thing about all the comedy stuff: "You've had all of 15 minutes to talk to this girl, and you're like, *boop,* here's my face, you have small tits!"

THEN ... oh Captain, my Captain, why did you have to go and make Ashley cry? Captain DingDong gets up there and says that he was expecting one of the other Brad rejects from last season, but it doesn't really matter who the girl is. It's not funny because it's true. And Bentley says he feels the same, but isn't saying. Which stance is worse? Both, we think.

So Ashley cries and cries. Because even though she set up this date and it was supposed to be a roast, she can't take a joke. And, unfortunately, Bentley decides he's going to "mess with her head." (Yes, Douchey Asshat actually said that.) So here's a little PSA about Bentley, courtesy of Kel: If a guy specifically says that he is messing with someone, he is an ass. He needs to punch to the balls and a slap to the face and every other punishment in your mind. No matter how "hot" he is, no one every deserves to have someone treat them that way. He, and everyone like him, needs to have their shit called out. If you notice a guy doing that to you or someone else, make sure to call them out, dump them, leave them, kick them, etc. It is abuse and angers me. If I saw a guy doing that to one of my friends, I would let them know and also kick the guy. I am usually not a fan of physical violence. But in his case, Bentley deserves pain. /End PSA

Ashley decides to talk to the guys, and through tears she explains that she was afraid that the guys would have wanted one of the other girls. Do guys even watch "The Bachelor?" How do they know who she is? Ashley wants the guys to stick around for the real her. We're pretty sure the "real her" is boring and whiny and slightly mental.

Captain DingDong and Ashley talk, and he tries to talk his way out of the giant hole he dug for himself. He agrees that a roast was a terrible plan. Duh. We're pretty sure that this whole thing was just a plot point in his romantic comedy life. Captain DingDong decides to leave the date. So Ashley is crying, and Captain cries "I hurt the one person I care about!" Oh Captain. Ashley is the one person who care about? You've known her for TWO episodes! She is the only thing you care about? Oh honey, you need a life.

Ashley is still feeling underconfident, but Sunshine is smiley and wants Ashley to be there. Oh Sunshine. You are wonderful.

There's a date card for Cupcake! His clue is, "There's no place like home."

Back to the date. Ashley talks to Douchehole, who Kel and I both definitely want to punch in his loser face and kick in his loser nads. Ashley comes out and tells her that she heard about him from her friend. Prepare for some more fallout later ...

But first! Ashley gives a rose to Sunshine! Yay! We are really liking Sunshine, and we love that his nickname is Sunshine! Ain't no sunshine when Sunshine's gone! But he won't be gone because he got a rose!

But then ... more drama! And it's of the Douchey Douchehole Asshat Butthead persuasion. Bentley decides not to stay. We all knew that would happen, but the problem is that he should have done it on day one. This whole things is part of his abuse. He manipulated Ashley into having strong feelings for him, and now he's going to leave. And most horrible of all, he says it's because of of his daughter, but admits in his confessional, "I miss my daughter, but I'm not really leaving for my daughter." This makes him an even worse human being, because he's trying to come across as a super nice guy. We can't imagine what his daughter will think when she's a bit older and sees this. We hope she has some good role models so that guys don't treat her like her father treats Ashley. We refuse to acknowledge Bentley any longer, and Kel says that he can "fuck off." Jen concurs.

So now Ashley is scared, which is very stupid. In Kel's words: "I'm scared this TV show of randomly chosen guys won't help me find love."

And now it's time for Cupcake's date. It's not going to be a good one, as it is after the incident with the person who is dead to us. However, we love Cupcake. He tries to make her feel better and does a good job. They eat dinner in front of the fire and then put on their pajamas. Best line of the date: As Ashley feels Cupcake's pants, she asks, "What are these?" "Pants!" Kelly says. Cupcake gets a rose, too, and they make out! Ashley also says that Cupcake is a better kisser than some other loser on this show.

Alright ... FINALLY, it's time for the Rose Ceremony. First, Chris Harrison and Ashley have a conversation in which Ashley says that she has been in love with Brad and Bentley. Ashley, dear, you have terrible taste in men. Anyway ... Ashley decides that they're not having a cocktail party, and instead they're going straight to the Rose Ceremony in the Rose Room. The Rose Ceremony room is called the Rose Room? Whoa, creative.

The guys who got roses already are Ben C. (who is still too bland for a nickname), JP (Cupcake) and Ryan (Sunshine). Then she gives roses to Constantine (Constantine), West (West), Mickey (Chef Mickey), Ben F. (Wino), Blake (Listerine), Nick (Lucas), Ames (Ames), Lucas (also too bland for a nickname) and William (Captain DingDong).

Going home are Chris, who we will not miss because we did not recognize, and Batman (Jeff). We guess beauty and love really are only skin deep. Way to have some depth to your affections, Ashley. Batman then burns his mask. Sigh. We'll miss you, Dark Knight.

Next week ... we are going to Thailand. And Ashley will kiss all the guys! And the man claws will come out! And everyone hates Sunshine! Drama! Next week!

So You Think You Can Dance

I was going to wait until after Vegas week to blog about So You Think You Can Dance, but I am too excited to wait! Basing a guess purely on the auditions we've seen, this season is going to be the best season yet. There are a couple reasons why I believe this.
1) Variety: there are a ton of different styles represented in Vegas. Yes, there are a ton of contemporary dancers. And there aren't many ballroom, but there are quite a few unique styles. There are unique hip hop dancers, b-boys, poppers, waaking, Irish, Broadway, etc. I am really glad that they took the risk to send some of the unique dancers straight through to Vegas.
2) Judges: Mary Murphy is back! I love Mia Michaels and Adam Shankman, but no one beats Mary Murphy! It is good to have a ballroom expert on the panel as it is hard to judge ballroom is you don't know the technique. I also really like the rotating judging they used to do on SYTYCD. It allows for a lot of different opinions to be heard and allows for a lot of different people to have something to do with the show who might not normally.
3) The level of dancing: Holy. Shit. The auditions this season were wicked awesome. I already deleted the episodes from my DVR so I can't give specific names, but there are definitely a ton of really really amazing dancers. There was a Krumper who frightens me just a bit, but in a good. There was the girl who did waaking, which I'm still not quite sure what it is, but I like it. There is a Japanese popper who is fucking ridiculous. There is a tomboy/drummer/stylist/hiphop dancer who I love more than any other hip hop dancer ever. There are a ton of amazing hiphop/b-boys who move differently from any other dancer ever. And the contemporary and jazz dancers they showed were unreal. I definitely got chills during lots of the auditions.
4) Variety: Did I mention that there is a lot of variety in the dancing. The reason some of the seasons have been not so great is because they end up with a ton of contemporary dancers. Last season kind of went that way, though was saved by my love of Robert. My favorite season was probably season 3, which had ballroom, west coast, hip hop, b-boy, contemporary, and classical. Variety makes the show amazing.

I will start actually blogging the show and not just rambling when the top 20 is announced. I am hoping for the best and really don't think I will be disappointed.

The Trashelorette: Part Duex

Ok, here are my completely random, short, unedited comments about this week's Trashelorette. Next week, my comments will be in with Jen's and part of the coherent story. Or something like that. Also, special shout out to Emily for helping suggest fun nicknames for the guys!

I don't remember anyone, except for like...3 people.

Batman looks even more crazy with the mask this week. I think it has to do with the hat.

And....Ashley is crazy! Marriage on the first date = crazy pants! I like how scared William looks. And William is now going to be known as Captain America. This is creepy and weird. And no, not legally married because you have to sign the marriage license. Idiot. I like Captain America, but I don't really like Ashley as of right now.

I'm going to try to nickname the boys during this group date. We already have Douchey Asshole, aka Bentley, and Winemaker. Constantine is an awesome enough name to not need a nickname and I'm pretty sure West is a solid nickname in itself. I am thinking that the hairstylist's nickname shall now be Fabio. It is hard to nickname all the guys are they are all the fucking same!

The dentist guy shall now be known as Listerine.

Douchey Asshole makes me so angry. Like, I cannot get over how much of a dick he is. I can't even be snarky about him because of how terrible of a person he is. He is a manipulative asshole who plays women, uses his daughter as sympathy, and is abusive. It is not ok for him to do that and it is also not ok for the show to glorify that. I hope all women recognize that no one deserves to be treated that way. If I guy is doing that to you, ditch his sorry ass right away. Fucking asshole. /end PSA/

I am going to call Mickey "Chef Mickey". It doesn't seem that creative unless you know that Chef Mickey is one of the character breakfasts at Disney World. Whoa, he has no personality. And he's wearing brown leather loafers with no socks, not cool. I'm fairly sure I just passed out from boredom during that date.

I just remembered that there is someone who we already nicknamed Mama's Boy, but I don't remember who he is. I just checked my notes, Matt. I'm going to list all the guys and their nicknames so as to remind myself.

Ryan P. (aka Sunshine...according to my friend Emily, this is the solar panel guy), Jeff (aka Batman), Constantine (aka Constantine), Ben F. (aka Winemaker), Lucas, Stephen (aka Fabio), Matt (aka Mama's boy), Nick, Chris, Ryan M., Blake (Listerine), Mickey (Chef Mickey or Hey Mickey! courtesy of Emily), Ben, West (aka West), William (aka Captain America or Ding Dong courtesy of the other contestants), JP (aka Cupcake), Ames (aka Ames because that name is unique enough to be a nickname), Bentley (aka Douchey Asshole or Douchey Abuser or Loserface)

Further thoughts on Bentley...if I knew a guy like him, I would literally knee him in the nuts and slap him in the face simultaneously. There really is only one word that sufficiently describes him. And it is a word that I do not feel comfortable putting in print on a blog. I'm sure you are clever enough to come up with it. Or just come up with one of your own. Think of a word that you would use to describe the worst person you can think of. Apply it to Bentley.

And going home are...Fabio, Mama's Boy, and some blond guy who I was going to nickname Ken (as in Ken and Barbie), but never got around to naming because I could not figure out his real name. Emily suggested Cute Guy From Michigan That Was Probably Less Bland and Boring than Half of the Boys That Are Left.

And the previews for next week look crazy. And really, slightly more exploitative than most weeks. I can't wait!